


I'll (Never) Love Again

by WellDoneBeca



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, 20th Century, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - 1940s, Angst, Angst and Feels, Army, Army Doctor Reader, Awesome Howling Commandos, Barnes Family, Bucky Barnes Feels, Don’t copy to another site, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feels, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hydra (Marvel), Immortality, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Identity, Loss of Virginity, POV Jewish Character, Pre-Canon, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Spoilers, The Tesseract (Marvel), Vaginal Fingering, Widowed Character, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2020-06-12 01:56:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 34,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19556491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellDoneBeca/pseuds/WellDoneBeca
Summary: As an immortal being, you’d never felt any need of getting involved with anyone. Even as an Omega, your suppressants were enough to protect you from Alphas around. Getting involved with Bucky happened so slowly you barely saw it coming. Maybe you could have been happy together, mate and be one of those modern couples that worked side to side and brought their pups along, but life wasn’t a dream. You lost him just like you lost everyone else in your life. You moved on and lived your life. The decade ended, and soon the century and the millennium just as well. You never expected to see him again nearly 70 years later, just as young as the last time you’d lied eyes on his face, but a completely different man from who you’d met before.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

You looked at the pile of unsent reports by your side, and an annoyed sigh left your lips; those were a common occurrence. You weren’t the only doctor in this specific area, sharing the responsibility of the tent with a man named Rivers and your 'cousin', and both took advantage of that very frequently, which included leaving things around for you to organise, throw away, or send through the air during your shift or free time.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” you heard from the door of your tent and rose your eyes in its direction, finding nurse Elizabeth waiting for you.

“Yes?” you put your pen aside.

“The supplies you requested have arrived, and a Sergeant has offered his help to bring them in.”

You frowned a bit, but closed your notes, locking them in your personal drawer.

“Thank you, Elizabeth,” you stood up. “Send him in.”

She nodded and you stood up, putting on the jacket of your suit before anyone else could come in.

“Excuse me,” you heard a deep voice coming from the front. “Doctor Klaczko?”

You felt a soft shiver over your whole body at the call. An Alpha, that was for certain, but not any random Alpha. This one was somehow different. The man in front of you was gorgeous. With dark hair slicked back and piercing blue eyes, he looked like something sculpted in heaven, and his smell was close to being intoxicating.

He was staring at you in a state of surprise that made your heart pound but had you raising your eyebrows at him.

“Sir?” you called.

The man blushed pink, lowering his head for a short moment.

_He looked adorable when embarrassed._

“I’m sorry. I was expecting...”

“An old man,” you smirked. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it.”

He blushed deeper and cleared his throat.

“I’m Sergeant Barnes, ma’am,” he quickly said but corrected himself. “Doctor.”

“Either one is good,” you assured him before he could ask. “Bring in the supplies, please, I need to place them quickly, one of the Alphas is about to go into rut and we need the suppressants. Last time we failed it took us six betas to separate him from fighting another Alpha over one of our Omega nurses.”

His blue eyes widened at your observation.

“We certainly don’t want that to happen again, ma’am. Where should I place things?”

You checked your hair, making sure it was tightly tied before pointing at the entrance of the tent.

“Follow me, please.”

Sergeant Barnes not only helped you carrying things but organising and labelling them. When you were finished, having just pinned the last note on the board, you turned to look at him.

“Are you new here?” you enquired, moving to the storage drawers with to look his name up. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around.”

“I arrived recently, yes,” he confirmed.

You nodded, and opened his file, finding it mostly clean.

“Is tomorrow a good day for your physical evaluation?” you questioned.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You hummed in confirmation, reaching for your planner while he followed you with his gaze, silently taking your movements.

“Be here by 8:20 in the morning,” you decided. “You can go now, thank you for your help.”

Barnes’ eyes lit up a bit when they crossed with yours, and you could see how he was holding back a smile from forming.

“You’re welcome, ma’am.”


	2. II

**Day 2**

You rolled your eyes at the giggling nurses in front of you, eating your breakfast while they talked animatedly.

“Come on, Doctor Klaczko,” Dorothy turned to you. “Don’t you think they are cute?”

“Does it matter?” you arched your eyebrows to her. “We are here to care for them, not to date them.”

She blushed, embarrassed. It wasn’t her who answered, but Mary Anne.

“It doesn’t mean we can’t find ourselves a mate along the way,” she said with a bit of a grin. “I’ve seen how Sergeant Barnes looks at you, ma’am. He seems very interested.”

You just gave her a straight cold look.

“I hope you didn’t notice that during your shift, Nurse Mary Anne. We all know you have a lot to do during them.”

The blonde nurse blushed, looking down at her place.

“Of course not, Doctor Klaczko.”

“Good.”

You finished up and stood up, taking your jacket with you, putting it on before walking out. You ignored all eyes on you. Most of the soldiers were used to you, but the new arrivals were still surprised you were not a nurse. In the beginning, you were taken as one by most of the people, and that was the reason you always dressed in tailored suits and dark colours.

You sat behind your desk, taking Sergeant Barnes’ record and checking the preliminary pieces of information, knowing he’d be there any moment by now.

“Doctor Klaczko?” you heard from the entrance of the tent.

“Please, come in,” you looked for a pen. “You can undress behind the curtains, please keep your underwear on. I’ll be there when you’re ready.”

He followed your instructions, and you stood in silence while expecting for his call. Once he did, you just followed with your standard examination, checking height and weight, looking for any obvious conditions and lice, among his reflexes and more.

“I have a few questions for you, I need to warn you that they might be personal.”

Barnes confirmed with a nod and a short ‘hm’, and you sat in front of him. You gave his body a short glance. He was beautiful when dressed up, but without his clothes on he was even more handsome. His chest and arms were strong, and his shoulders just as broad as his jaw was sharp.

“Are you an Alpha, a Beta, or an Omega?”

“Alpha.”

You checked the ‘A’ box.

“When was your first rut? And when was your last one? Are they regular?”

“At 13 and it lasted 3 days. My last one was a month ago, and they come every six months and two weeks, like a clock,” he looked proud.

You nodded, taking notes once again.

“Are you sexually active?”

His blue eyes widened in surprise at how straight forward you were.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You wrote it down and walking to where you kept the prophylactics, taking a box and giving it to him.

“Let me know if you need a new box in the future. I’ll strongly advise you against knotting while with us because you never know when you’re gonna be called.”

He nodded, flushed.

“We’ll start supplying you with extra strong suppressants a week before your rut,” you explained slowly to him. “It’s against the law to hide a rut, are you aware of that?”

Barnes nodded.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” you checked another box. “Then you know the punishment for it. Any previous conditions I should know about?”

He shook his head.

“I’m healthy as a horse,” he assured you.

“And are you mated or has ever had a mate?”

“Never, ma’am.”

You wrote it down at least and finally closed it.

“We’re done. Dress up, you can sign the papers about this exam when you leave. Do you have any questions for me?”

He shifted on his place, pulling up his pants, and zipping them.

“What are the side effects of the suppressants? I don’t think I’ve had taken the ones you have here.”

“We have a pamphlet,” you pointed at the corner, where those were. “Anything else?”

“That’s all,” he buttoned his shirt up. “Thank you, doctor.”

“You are welcome, sergeant.”

**Day 3**

Bucky watched from afar as you instructed the nurses on something he couldn’t quite hear. A woman doctor. He thought those only happened in the news, but there you were. Most impressive of all, you were a female  _ omega _ doctor, but didn’t even look like one; if he hadn’t caught your scent when he entered the room that day, he wouldn’t have known.

“You got an eye on the doctor?” someone said by his side, and Bucky turned to find one of the soldiers of the unity by his side.

“Maybe.”

The man by his side, a beta, chuckled.

“Good luck. She doesn’t even let people know her name.”

He turned, surprised.

“Her name?”

He confirmed.

“She’s doctor Klaczko, and that’s it,” he said with a bit of a bitter tone. “Or ma’am, if you want to vary a bit.”

Bucky didn’t stop staring.

“Does she even smile?” he questioned.

“I don’t think she knows how to.”

The blue-eyed alpha nodded slowly. Well, now he was even  _ more  _ interested.

“Thanks,” he muttered quickly shooing the soldier from his side when he saw you entering the medical tent again.

Bucky followed you in and swiftly entered.

“Doctor?” he called, making you turn around with a scared look on your face that was soon washed away by a neutral expression.

“Sergeant Barnes,” you stood straight. “How can I assist you?”

Bucky inflated his chest, trying to look strong under your eyes.

“I came to offer my assistance, ma’am,” he explained.

You frowned.

“I don’t need any assistance.”

“Are you certain?” he insisted. “No heavy boxes or patients who need to be moved?”

You shifted on your spot. You did have some trash you need to put out.

“I have some things I need to discard, but I can count on the nurses for assistance.”

You were ready to go back to your tasks.

“I insist, ma’am.”

You pressed your lips together.

“If you insist so much,” you decided. “Grab some protection and follow me, please.”


	3. III

**Day 20**

You looked around a bit expectantly.

For the last two weeks or so, every day, Sergeant Barnes had shown up to help you around, and as much as you tried to distance yourself from the Alpha, he was starting to grow a place in your heart.

“Wounded soldiers,” someone announced immediately sending you into action, and somewhere inside you found yourself begging for it not to be Barnes.

“Numbers?” you put your coat on.

“Four, ma’am,” nurse Dot rushed to follow your steps. “A grenade exploded and they couldn’t clear the area fast enough.”

“Get their files, I need one of you for each of them,” you listed. “Who needs immediate care?”

Dot ran to do what you told her, giving place to Christine.

“One of them lost part of his leg, and the other has a nasty wound on his torso.”

You almost groaned.

“Above the knee?”

“No, ma’am.”

You nodded, taking Dot’s files when she caught up with you.

“Change of plans, I need to nurses with me and two for the other two men. I want a tourniquet on the leg man while I check on the torso injury.”

They all complied and when you reached the man with an injured torso, he turned out to be one of the soldiers you barely knew, not Barnes, which calmed you down a tad bit.

A nurse had already cut what was left of the man’s shirt open and cleaned his chest and stomach, and you examined him as fast and as carefully as possible.

He was bleeding lightly, and some pieces of the grenade were still inside. If you removed them, the result would be even worse – you were trained as a surgeon, but didn’t trust your abilities outside of the hospital -, and your only option was to call an ambulance and send him to the closest town.

The second man – the solder with the wounded leg – needed an amputation and what was left of his leg would need to be treated to prevent an infection, which meant he’d need to be transported just as well.

The two other soldiers, luckily, only needed stitches and the worst of them had a licence to rest and start healing properly for a few days.

You stitched them carefully, trying not to be too quick under the nurses' eyes. Your powers were the big reason you chose to do what you did now; you had lived long enough to learn more than anyone in your field, was agile and strong, and could endure much more than a common and ordinary human.

As much as your appearance transpired, you weren’t a young woman; your own parents apparently knew you were different the moment you were born. Your brother who was a couple of years older than you has his great-great-grandson was a doctor there too, and your own sister’s great-great-grandson was a soldier in another infantry, already married and with two kids.

Your had recently turned 124 years old but had stopped ageing between your late teens to early 20s, never finding a wrinkle on your face or a grey hair in your head.

You accumulated money by working a midwife in diverse countries until you could finally afford – and legally join – medical school. It wasn’t easy; you were the only woman in your class and the men didn’t quite like your presence. Still, you didn’t leave and graduated as one of the best in the class. You _were_ the best if honesty was to be taken into consideration, but you knew they wouldn’t give you that place because of your gender.

“I want you back by tomorrow,” you warned Grace as she boarded the ambulance with the man who needed an amputation. Mary Anne had already left with the other man, and you really couldn’t afford, losing nurses for too long.

When you entered the medical dent once again, the doctor who’d replace you was already taking his place.

“Doctor Klaczko,” he smiled politely.

“Doctor River,” you felt your body tensing up. “My shift isn’t over yet.”

He gave you a condescending smile.

“I’m sure you want a break.”

“There’s no need,” you kept a serious, but pushing tone. “You can come in an hour, I have reports to fill.”

He pressed his lips together but didn’t protest. Rivers was a man with a hero complex, always wanting to be the best doctor in the field, but you never gave him the closest bit to a break.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon, ma’am?”

“Goodbye.”

You sat down as he left, reaching for your branded paper, and only raised your head when you heard someone coming in not even 30 minutes later.

You were ready to send them away when you noticed who it was.

“Sergeant Barnes,” you stood up. “Good evening.”

“Good evening, doctor Klaczko,” he said politely.

When your eyes rested on his face, you quickly noticed the open cuts on his left side and the tiredness on his expression.

“You’re hurt,” you quickly pointed. “Sit down.”

Barnes didn’t protest, walking to the closest chair and taking his cap, showing you how his hair was a bit wet.

“What happened?”

“Grenade,” he muttered as you walked close to him to clean the cut over his cheekbone. “I’m okay, but two of my men…”

“They were sent to the hospital,” you finished his sentence. “I know.”

Barnes flinched when you touched his open wound with the cotton soaked with antiseptic, but didn’t say anything.

You were holding your breath, trying not to be entranced by his smell. It was so strange that no Alpha had any effect on you _except_ for him.

“Do I need stitches?” he questioned in an almost whispered, and the sound sent a shiver all over your spine.

Instinctively, you walked away from him, trying to calm down your breath.

“Butterflies are enough,” you reached for the bandaged in the drawer. “Don’t worry, they won’t hurt.”

Barnes closed his eyes as soon as you were close to his face, taking a long breath while you held yours.

“I’m James,” he whispered. “You can call me Bucky if you want me to.”

You didn’t answer, concentrating on the small wound. You distanced yourself and finally breathed.

“Why Bucky?” you discarded the used items.

“My second name is Buchanan,” he explained. “So… Bucky.”

“It’s a nice nickname.”

He nodded silently, looking like he was expecting something from you, probably your own name.

“Tell me if you feel anything different or if there’s any inflammation in the next days,” you instructed. “Do you have any other injuries?”

He shook his head.

“Not that I know about.”

You hummed something in confirmation and you went to behind your desk, pulling your chair.

“Is that all?”

“Yes,” he stood up.

You sat down.

“Good evening, sergeant.”

“You too, ma’am.”


	4. IV

**Day 25**

You rubbed your temple in annoyance while searching the drawers around the tend.

_Where the hell were the heat suppressants?_

For some reason you couldn’t quite point, your body had contradicted its own rules, and you were entering heat a lot earlier than you were supposed to.

“Doctor Klaczko?” Nurse Dot’s voice made you glance in her direction. “Did you request assistance?”

“Yes,” you continued to search. “I need to call someone to replace me for the next four days or so, I’ll be spending a while in town.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You let out another frustrated groan, running your hands through your hair and she rested a hand on yours.

“The suppressants are in the cabinet, ma’am,” she said in a soft voice. “With the prophylactics.”

She followed you silently as you wrote yourself a prescription, leaving a copy where the next medic could see.

“I’ve already rented a place and got my car packed,” you told her, taking the first set of pills with half a glass of water.

As much as the suppressants did help you with the heats and ruts, they left whoever took them feeling like ultimate crap. That’s why omegas and alphas were sent to two of the closest towns to rest.

“Doctor Klaczko is on his way,” you told her. “Well, the other Doctor Klaczko.”

Right as you said it, your great-great-grandnephew entered the tent.

“Good afternoon,” he said politely.

You answered the same way and buttoned your suit before leaving.

Dot followed you until you were in your car – a model you’d acquired around the time you had arrived in France, so you wouldn’t depend on anyone for transportation.

“Do you need anything, ma’am?” she offered.

You declined.

“I’ve taken care of everything,” you assured her, taking a piece of paper from your pocket, which had the address of the place you had rented to stay in. “Send any mail I receive to this address.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded. “Have a safe trip.”

“Goodbye.”

* * *

Bucky entered the medical tent with a puffed chest. Today he’d ask your name. He’d be preparing himself to do so for the latest five days and today was perfect. He was ready.

When he looked at your desk, however, you weren’t the one on your desk. There was a man in there leaning onto a notebook.

“Excuse me?” he called, and the doctor raised his head.

“Yes? How can I help you?”

Bucky fixed his posture.

“I’m looking for Doctor Klaczko.”

The man sat straighter.

“That would be me.”

The sergeant frowned, confused. Was he your brother? He didn’t look old enough to be your father. Was he your _husband?_

“The other Doctor Klaczko,” he risked saying.

The man’s face lit up in understanding.

“My colleague is in her monthly leave. She’ll be back in a few days. Is it anything I can help with?”

Bucky hesitated, trying to look for a reason to have shown up.

“I believe I might be coming up with the flu and was wondering if you had any remedy,” he lied.

The doctor thought for a moment and stood up, opening a cabinet and grabbing some tablets.

“One of these every 12 hours,” he instructed. “If it doesn’t help, let me know and I’ll get you something stronger.”

He nodded and Bucky cleared his throat.

“May I ask you, doctor, are you two related?”

A shadow crossed the man’s face for a moment, and he shifted in his seat.

“We are cousins.”

Bucky relaxed a bit. That was good, right? He wasn’t your husband.

“What is her name?” he couldn’t help asking.

The doctor chuckled in amusement.

“You should ask her yourself. If I tell you, Doctor Klaczko might forget we are related and choke me with her own hands. You’d be surprised with how strong she can be,” he chuckled and lowered his voice. “Honestly, you’d be surprised by many things about her.”

Bucky tried to play it cool, soon saying his goodbyes and walking back to his tent, but stopped when he saw the mail of the day being carried.

A letter. He could write a letter.


	5. V

**Day 26**

You groaned in annoyance, splashing water on your face. It was too hot.

‘Just three more days’, you reminded yourself.

You hated heats. Well, everyone did, but you hated them more. No one has ever had to endure them for longer than you did.

You were old. Older than any unmated Omega alive, older than any person alive, and should be used to it already.

Your father, a doctor, had the theory that your immortality was the only reason you made past 35 unmated. Most omegas would die before that.

It hurt, honestly. Seeing everyone growing old and finding their purpose in life while you had to hide the truth of your existence. You’d visited many countries during your life, hiding in them until people started to look at your youth with suspicious eyes. Your grandnephew was the one who first managed to put you officially in medical school along with his son, but you already had a deep knowledge of the profession thanks to your father and brother, who were both doctors and had you as an assistant at their side while exercising the profession. You missed them more than you could express, but both were long passed now. Even your grandnephew was an elder man now, and though you were still close to the family, you could help but feel like an intruder there with them from time to time. You also missed the part of your family who had stayed in Europe after you moved to America alongside your grandnephew and his children after his wife passed away and the Nazi Party started to gain fame and space along with the people of Europe. Being Jewish, you felt deeply threatened with the ideas they were spreading and felt safer just leaving. Now, around ten years later, you were shown to be right in leaving.

“Miss Y/N,” you heard a knock on the door of your room. “Przyniosłam pani obiad..” 

(I brought your lunch.)

You covered yourself with a bathrobe before opening the door at the old lady who owned the place, who entered the room with a tray with food and an envelope.

“Ktoś do pani napisał”, she offered you a letter. “Sierżant James B. Barnes.”

(Someone wrote you a letter)

Your eyes widened. Barnes?!

“Dziękuję, Mrs Kowalski,” you offered her a kind smile. One of the reasons you always chose to stay with her was the opportunity of being around someone from your old land.

(Thank you, Mrs. Kowalski) 

The smell of Alpha in the paper was still present enough that it made you shiver, and you couldn’t help but tear the envelope and open the letter as fast as possible.

> _“Dear Doctor, Klaczko/,_
> 
> _I hope I find you well. One of the nurses informed me of your temporary leave._
> 
> _I hope to see you back and well in a short time._
> 
> _My best regards,_
> 
> _Sgt. J. B. Barnes.”_

You felt heat rising to your cheeks, wondering what had moved him onto writing to you. You couldn’t even remember the last time you received anything from anyone outside your own family.

You had had suitors back at your times, but you never one that had called your attention, and the two men your parents had arranged you to marry – both Alphas – had died, one from fever and the other drowning.

They tried matching you with another man, but it didn’t work, as he’d claimed a woman right before your engagement could be officially announced.

When an accident that should have killed you didn’t leave you with more than a scratch that healed immediately under your father’s eyes, he’d decided it was time to make some changes in your lives and start hiding.

Your life was long and didn’t seem any closer to its end, but no one had paid you as much interest as James now.

You looked for some paper and pen, carefully writing an answer down.

> _“Sgt Barnes,_
> 
> _I appreciate your concern and care,”_

You stopped. What should you say next? You weren’t used to receiving those kinds of letters any more.

> “ _I’ll be back in the camp in just 3 days. Hopefully, time will pass fast. I have to confess, however, that I might miss your daily visits during them._
> 
> _Attentively,_
> 
> _Y/F/I A. Klaczko, MD.”_

You bit your lip. Maybe your heat and the faint smell of Alpha were making you flirty, but you didn’t wait for your mind to change quickly, enveloping it and giving it to miss. Mrs Kowalski to send it, tentatively rubbing your wrists onto the paper.

You bit your lip and pressed your thighs together for a moment.

“Dziękuję, Mrs Kowalski,” you said with a smile. “Trochę się teraz prześpię.”

(Thank you, Mrs Kowalski; I’ll just sleep now.)


	6. VI

Day 27

“Barnes,” he heard his name as the mail-man delivered the letters of the day. 

There was a slap on his shoulder as he walked, but Bucky didn’t give it attention, he was too busy hoping the letter was from you. To his utter happiness, he caught your last name followed by ‘MD’ before opening it and decided to do it in the tent he shared with men from his unit. 

He was hit by a sweet scent, enhanced by your heat, before his gaze even fell on the words there, and he closed his eyes shut for a moment. 

“Fuck,” he cussed, immersed in the smell, his mind running the image of you laying on a bed, presenting yourself for him. 

His pants felt tighter, and he rushed to read the letter before he could be interrupted. 

> _“Sgt Barnes,_
> 
> _I appreciate your concern and care._
> 
> _I’ll be back in the camp in just 3 days. Hopefully, time will pass fast. I have to confess, however, that I might miss your daily visits during them.”_

It was short and polite, although with a clear message that you were actually missing him and seeing him. 

He couldn’t help his excitement. You liked him, maybe just as much as he liked you. 

At the end of the letter, something even better waited for him. 

> _“Attentively,_
> 
> _Y/F/I A. Klaczko, MD.”_

Y/F/I A. Klaczko. 

Your initials.

For someone who spent almost a month not knowing your first name, it was a huge step and victory. 

He folded the letter and put it back with his stuff right in time, as men entered the tent the second after he stood up. 

It was one of the Alphas who stopped to look at him in confusion. 

“Is that… Why does it smell like Omega here?”

Bucky, in turn, tried to look like he had no idea. 

“I don’t feel anything,” he lied. “But I got a bit of a cold.”

They shrugged it off, and one of the men even joked about how they had been without an Omega for so long that they were starting to hallucinate the smell. Bucky only continued sitting on his bed, trying hard not to smile. He had your initial now. Things were going well.

Day 30

You checked your reflection in the mirror, cleaning the smudged lipstick from under your lip before sitting at your desk again.

You had arrived back in camp the previous night and this was your first shift since then, and James had yet to show up. You shouldn’t be feeling like that, so flushed with the idea of him and worried about his absence; you shouldn’t be allowing a  _ boy _ to make you so soft.

The clearing of a throat made you look up and your eyes widened in surprise when they fell on James holding an arrangement of flowers that had been clearly hand plucked.

“Doctor Klaczko,” he smiled. “Good afternoon.”

He was wearing his hair back, you could see at first glance, and smelled fresh out of a shower.

“Sgt. Barnes,” you stood up. “And flowers.”

He approached you and offered them silently with a silent smile.

“I would have given you better-plucked ones, but I’m afraid I’m not very delicate.”

You couldn’t contain a smile. Gardenias. The symbol of secret love.

Did he know what it meant?

“I hope the way back to the camp wasn’t troubled.”

You shook your head.

“Absolutely not,” you assured him. “The people in the village are always warm, and all the soldiers I met on the way was very courteous.”

He nodded slowly and bit his lip nervously before stepping closer to you.

“I was wondering if you’re not busy or too tired after your shift if you want to walk with me.”

You were surprised. You didn’t expect such an invitation.

“I’d love to,” you said quickly. “I’ll be out in four hours.”

He left the tent and you sat down, feeling your face burning your cheeks almost numb by smiling hugely. You only recomposed yourself when you saw nurse Dot entering with a wicked grin on her face.

“Ma’am,” she stopped in front of your desk with a vase filled with water in her hands. “Here.”

You frowned.

“How did you know I needed a vase?”

The smile on the blonde nurse’s face only widened.

“A little bird told me.”

You arched her an eyebrow.

“I saw him entering with flowers and waited until he left,” she confessed. “Doctor, he is head over heels for you! Don’t blame me for wanting to see you happy.”

Dot, or Dorothy, had arrived in camp the same day as you and had seen everything you had to endure in the last year to be respected by those around you. She was sweet and you two had some sort of connection, and if you weren’t so closed off to people, you two could very well be close friends.

“He invited me to a walk after my shift,” you said in an almost whisper, making her squeal nonetheless.

“Flowers and date! And gardenias!” she pointed. “Do you know what they mean?”

“Secret love, yes,” you confirmed, still keeping your face neutral.

“Aren’t you excited?” she almost bounced on her stop. “How long did he take to gather courage? A whole month?”

You just shrugged, internally agreeing with her guess while also knowing that if he hadn’t taken that time, you wouldn’t have a positive reaction.

“He’s totally falling in love with you, doctor!”

You felt your face warming up and looking away.

“I’m sure you’re overreacting.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’m not, and you’re gonna see that really soon.”

* * *

“You look different,” you nephew pointed, seemingly curious while you took off your coat and fixed yourself in front of the mirror.

You glanced at him and tried to sound as unconcerned as possible.

“Oh, do I?”

His eyes scanned you and lit up right when they met your face.

“Your hair is down.”

Sometimes, when you looked at Abraam and squeezed your eyes, you could see your younger brother in him. Dawid was just a boy when he passed and you couldn’t quite remember what he looked like, but Abraam shared his energy very closely.

“So?” you arched him an eyebrow.

“You never wear your hair down, only when we’re home.”

You had a complicated relationship with what was left of your family, and that included Abraam; you weren’t as close as you could be, but not that distant either. It was indeed complicated.

“I’m over 100,” you glanced down at his direction, seeing him sitting on the desk. “I need to change everyone once in a while.”

Before he could say anything else, you collected your belongings and put your coat on.

“If you’ll excuse me now.”

You stepped forward, but his voice made you stop.

You left, finding Bucky waiting for you outside.

“I didn’t want to come in and risk having anyone’s unwanted attention.”

You thanked him softly, and James offered you an arm.

“Shall we?” he smiled at you. “I promised you a walk.”

Although hesitant, you took it, proceeding to walk with him to a lake far enough from the camp that you had some privacy without raising improper questions.

“How was your shift?” Bucky questioned, sitting down on a large rock before helping you do the same.

“This time, quiet,” you confessed. “But in this job, it’s either quiet or people hurt, so… Quiet days are good.”

He nodded and you gazed into the lake. It looked familiar, but you couldn’t remember quite much why.

“I feel like I’ve been here before,” you confessed.

“You’re from somewhere around, right?” he turned to you. “Europe or… something?”

You confirmed and chuckled.

“What gave it away? The accent?”

The man by your side confirmed with a grin.

“It’s nearly perfect, but you still have something there.”

“I’m Polish,” you revealed. “I was born in Krakow.”

His face moved in complete surprise. Currently, your country was dominated by Nazis and filled with concentration camps.

“When did you and your family live in the country?”

“The continent was beginning to fill up with people with harmful ideas,” you closed your eyes for a moment, remembering the first time you’d actually been afraid for you family and your life after reading about what was happening in the newspaper. “We knew this would only get worse, so my uncle had the idea of moving to America. The Nazis invaded Poland not long after.”

He let out a sigh, shifting on his spot.

“I’m glad you left before you were in danger.”

You nodded, and James turned to you with a curious face.

“Your uncle?”

You confirmed with a nod.

“I lost my parents,” you explained, not actually lying but not fully telling him the truth. “So my uncle sort of adopted me. He paid for my education, fought so I could get into medical school… He’s a good man.”

Bucky gave you a small smile and shifted a bit in his seat.

“So… Can you say something in Polish?”

You chuckled. You had imagined he’d ask you to do so.

“What would you want me to say?”

He just shrugged.

“Whatever is on your mind.”

You let out a sigh.

_ “Chyba się w tobie zakochuję, sierżancie. I nie wiem, czy to dobrze czy źle.” _

(I think I’m falling for you, soldier. And I really don’t know if that’s good or bad for us).

James only watched you.

“Are you gonna let me know what you said?”

“Maybe one day,” you gazed into the lake, seeing the sun behind the trees on the other side. “But not today.”

He shook his head, laughing softly.

“You’re full of mysteries, aren’t you, doctor?”

You let slip a half-grin.

“You have no idea.”


	7. VII

Day 61

“Do you know what it is?” you twirled the gardenia in your hand. 

“The flower?” Bucky questioned, briefly confused.

“Yes,” you nodded. “The gardenia.”

He just confirmed, clearly not knowing the answer to your question. 

“Secret love.”

Instantly, the sergeant blushed pink and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Not so secret anymore,” he muttered. “Y/N/I… Well, I think I’ve been delaying this long enough, right?”

You just raised your eyebrows, expectantly. 

“Doctor Kla... Kla-…” he struggled to say your last name. 

“Klaczko,” you helped. 

“Klaczko,” he repeated. Still clearly nervous. “We’re friends it’s been a while and… And you are a great friend, don’t think that’s bad, but…”

You watched as he tried to sense having a hard time not laughing in response. 

“I like you,” he finally said. “I like you a real lot and I think you might like me too.”

You felt your cheeks hot in response and he watched your face under expectant eyes. 

“Right?”

Looking down, feeling suddenly embarrassed and shy, you nodded positively before looking back at him, finding James smiling. 

“So I…” he cleared his throat. “I think we could go forward, right? And… Be more than friends?”

You felt even more heat on your face, and your heart raced inside your chest almost desperately. 

“Yes,” you managed to whimper. 

He almost jumped in excitement, but only reached to hold your hand. 

“So you want to be with me?” he questioned. “As my best girl, my girlfriend?”

You nodded furiously, still speechless. His smile grew ever larger, piercing blue eyes shining bright in happiness that sipped right onto you, making it hard to keep a straight face.

Bucky looked around, still holding the same grin, and leant onto your direction. 

“You can smile. I’m the only one looking.”

You laughed in response, fully smiling to him right after. 

The Alpha in front of you cleared his throat. 

“I’d really – really – like to kiss you right now,” Bucky Whispered. “Well… I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks, but right now I…”

“Yes,” you interrupted him. “You can kiss me.”

He blushed but didn’t hesitate when putting his hands on your waist, scooping you closer and laying his soft lips on yours. 

You’d never even once kissed someone in your life before, but if the feeling was always the same, then you really regretted not doing it before. 

Your hands moved right up to rest on his shoulders, and when he pulled away – too soon for you – both of your remained close to one another. 

“Oh…” you muttered to yourself, but it caught his attention. 

“Oh?”

“I…” you cleared your throat. “If I knew it was that good, I would have done it before. Now I see why people do that all that time.”

He laughed. 

“That good?”

You confirmed in a slow nod. 

“I’m glad I was a good first.”

You chuckled. 

“Don’t get so cocky.”

Bucky squeezed your side softly, smiling playfully. 

“How can I not? My best girl isn’t only gorgeous, but she’s also a doctor! Beautiful and smart, I hit the end of the rainbow!”

You giggled under his watchful eyes. 

“Thank you,” you finally said. “But I have to say, I don’t want you publicly trying to kiss me or holding, I have an image to maintain and it took me too long to construct it.”

He confirmed instantly. 

“Don’t worry,” he said with a serious face. “I know. The men out there can be terrible. I won’t give them a reason to be worse.”

You smiled softly in response. 

“Thank you.”

You felt Bucky’s hand moving up to your face, and his fingertips caressed your cheek. 

“We have to go,” you leant onto his touch. “People will notice we’re gone.”

Your ‘boyfriend’ smiled sadly. 

“Can I see you in the morning before breakfast?” he asked timidly. 

“Of course,” you nodded.

He pulled away hesitantly and reached to kiss your palm. 

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

He moved away and you were hit with a sudden realisation. 

“James,” you called and the brown-haired man turned to look at you again. “It’s Y/N.”

His face twisted in confusion, and you giggled at it. 

“My name,” you explained. “My name is Y/N.”


	8. VIII

You rested your head on the grass, gazing at the clear night sky and enjoying the silence of the sleeping camp while Bucky held your hand in his.

“Do you ever wonder if we’ll ever be out there, in space?” your boyfriend asked. “How we’d look from the moon.”

You didn’t first answer. Just like you didn’t like thinking of the past, you didn’t enjoy wondering about the future. Too many losses taught you to live in the present and to never wonder about the rest.

“Not really,” you confessed. “I like staying on the ground.”

So far, only a few people knew of your relationship with James, just Dot, your cousin and his major; honestly, though, you didn’t want that to change. You enjoyed your privacy and didn’t feel comfortable with anyone else knowing more than the basics about you.

“When I was a kid, I’d imagine myself making something to bring me up there. Sometimes, I’d even see myself landing and walking on the moon. It would always be shiny there.”

You opened a small smile.

“Sounds beautiful.”

He squeezed your hand in his and laughed a bit before taking a long and deep breath.

“What about you?”

You couldn’t understand.

“Me?”

“Do you have any childhood memory you like a lot?”

It was your turn to breath in deeply. Your childhood was a century ago, and as much as you had a good memory, most of it was lost.

“I had many siblings as a kid,” you said slowly. “But none of them was a close to my mother as me…”

You closed your eyes. You had sketches and painting of your parents, but their voices and the real faces of them were gone.

“Every end of the day, she would take me to her garden with her, my siblings were all playing, but I’d stay there with her. We watered the plants, cleared the ground from weeds, add those...” you hesitated, trying to find a word but losing. “… weird mixtures you’d do with food that you can’t eat any more.”

He let out a tiny chuckle at your struggle, but didn’t interrupt you.

“Oh, and we planted roses on my 5 th birthday,” you told him. “White roses. Maybe they are still there, I don’t really know.”

Bucky fell silent, then took your hand and moved it to his lips, kissing your skin tenderly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You must miss her a lot.”

You took a long breath, feeling the pain in your heart.

“I do,” you muttered. “Everyday.”

You boyfriend squeezed it tighter and put it over his chest, and you could feel his heartbeat against the back of your hand.

“What happened to her?” he questioned.

You moved uncomfortably. Your mother had died of old age, happy with her life and with the whole family around her, but you couldn’t tell him that.

“She caught some sort of disease,” you lied. “They all did.”

When he spoke again, his voice sounded pained with the realisation of the story you’d just told.

“Except for you.”

You nodded.

“Except for me.”


	9. IX

**Day 154**

  


You tried not to give into melting into Bucky’s arms. With his rut a single day away, both of you were having your senses clouded, and it’s not like you were actually complaining about it.

“Did you pack everything you’ll need?” you mewled out, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Yes,” your boyfriend pushed your hair away from your neck, sniffing your scent glands. “’mega… You smell so good.”

You almost purred in response, and your legs gave out when he stuck his tongue out, licking your skin slowly.

“Alpha…” you whimpered. “Don’t do that.”

But he only let out a deep and low moan.

“Do what?”

Bucky sounded clueless enough and you would have believed him if it wasn’t for his hard bulge pressing against your lower torso, which proved he was in no way innocent in his actions.

Goodness… It’d be so easy for him to just take you right then right there. He just needed to push your skirt up and…

“Bucky,” you finally pushed him away, giving your boyfriend a stern look. “If you don’t want us both to be sent to New York, we gotta stop right now.”

That seemed to be enough to calm him down, and your boyfriend had the decency to turn away from you to adjust himself in his pants.

“I’m…” he started in a low tone that made your whole body shiver, then cleared his throat and started again. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

You felt your cheeks flushed and gave him a kind smile when he turned to look at you once again.

“Well, I wasn’t either,” you confessed. “You better go. Send me a letter when you arrive.”

He nodded and reached to touch your cheek.

“Are you going to be fine without me?”

If he was anyone else you would be holding back a laugh right now, but you just kissed his palm. You had lived 113 years without him, you’d certainly be all right for a few days.

“I’ll survive.”

Bucky kissed the tip of your nose and stepped out, picking up the suppressants you’d separated for him, waving to you before finally leaving the medical tent. You’d never lost control around one another that way before, and it shouldn’t happen again. You couldn’t even imagine what would happen if anyone had walked in on the two of you.

You left after a couple of minutes, just in time to watch the car with him and other two Alphas leaving to the neighbouring town, glancing at your side when your nephew stopped there.

“You smell like Alpha,” he pointed out. “Did anyone try to mark his territory all over you?”

You sniffed your shirt, raising your elbow to nose level and catching Bucky’s smell on your sleeve. Your boyfriend had indeed been touching you more than the normal amount.

“I’m glad you found someone,” Abraam affirmed.

“Took me long enough,” you shrugged.

“Do you plan on introducing him to the family?”

You thought in silence. You’d been with Bucky a couple of months already, and while he’d tell you about his family and was excited for you to meet them, you’d kept a lot about your family to yourself.

“Hopefully.”

When you looked at him, Abraam was smiling openly.

“Dad will be happy to hear about it. He loved you a great lot, you know that, right?”

You only nodded.

When your grandnephew lost his first wife, you became the primary caretaker of the only child they had together, basically assuming the role of a mother for him. That was why your great-grandson cared so much about you over the years and done everything to make your life easier and your dream of becoming an official doctor come true.

“Well, I really hope he likes him.”

“If he’s anything like Dot tells me, he’ll like him a lot.”

You turned to your great-great-grandnephew with your mouth slightly open in surprise.

“Oh, so you two talk about behind my back!” you exclaimed.

Abraam blushed, chuckling and crossing his arms.

“I mean… Well, I had to find a subject to approach her about, you know?”

You shook your head. Abraam and Dot had been exchanging looks and a bit more recently and weren’t exactly discreet about their interests on one another.

“Well… My shift is over and yours has just begun,” you reminded him. “I’m off to sleep now.”

You turned around to leave, but his voice interrupted you.

“Passover is coming up. The Jewish soldiers are organising something we can all do together.”

You turned back to him.

“Already?” you raised your eyebrows. “Sure.”

He confirmed and offered you a teasing smile.

“Well, you could invite your dear sergeant,” he suggested.

You shook your head, though you didn’t disapprove of the idea.

“I’ll think about it.”


	10. X

Day 155

  
  


Dot was jumping in excitement when she entered the medical tent, holding a letter in her hands, and you had to keep a straight face when she sat on your desk.

“Just because my cousin lets you sit on the desk when he’s here doesn’t mean that I will,” you pointed out to her. “Get up, Dorothy.”

She blushed, pouting for a moment, but the smile was soon back on her face.

“Guess what you just received?”

“Bonus equipment from Stark’s industries that’ll make it possible to regrow limbs?”

She froze for a moment, confused, but shrugged.

“Unfortunately, no, but it’s the second best thing. Sergeant Barnes wrote to you.”

She offered you the letter and sat down on the closest chair when you took it from her hand.

“So, it’s addressed to Doctor Y/I/N A. Klaczko,” she trailed off.

You only glanced at her and the nurse tapped her fingers on the wood desk.

“And the other doctor Klaczko is called Abraam M. Klaczko. And I’m pretty sure you are not named Abraam.”

You put down the freshly opened letter.

“Alexandrina,” you looked up at her. “From Alexandrina Victoria, the queen’s name.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Aren’t you Polish?”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “But my mother was a lover of the monarch, so she named me after Victoria.”

It wasn’t a lie. Victoria was the queen of England when you were born, so your mother had decided to pay homage to her back then. She was one of those people who believed a country would be better governed by a monarch and had always mentioned how she wished Poland was a kingdom.

“It’s pretty for a second name.”

You nodded and raised your face to her.

“Can I read my letter alone now or are you going to be on my shoulder reading it too?”

“Well, I  _ would  _ like to read it now that you offered.”

You just continued to stare at her, and the nurse stood up.

“Fine. I’m gonna see how Abraam is doing.”

You just breathed in deep. You could see the relationship between the two becoming serious and special.

“Dot,” you called before she could leave.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Did he invite you to spend Passover with us?”

She gave you a smile.

“He sure did, ma’am. Why?”

You just confirmed with a nod. You had found out recently that Dot was Jewish just as well, and that was a bit comforting. She was the only Jewish nurse in the group that assisted you, Abraam, and Doctor Rivers.

“My uncle will be happy to know Abraam found a beautiful girl with the same principles as our family for himself.”

Dot blushed so hard you could have sworn she was the same colour as her hair for a moment.

“Doctor!”

You laughed.

“I’m just saying. He’s his first son, he’ll thrive in knowing his boy is happy.”

You knew the feeling very well. When Jakub – Abraam’s father – found a wife and formed a family, you could see how happy he was and that very much reflected on you. You didn’t live with him at the start of it – staying in your family’s farm to care for your ageing nephew until he passed. It was then that he took you in his home once again, around the time Abraam was 16, and you had to pretend you were also his age, following the boy into medical school. Now, you were both here.

“Do you really think we have a future?” she questioned shyly.

“I’ve known my cousin since we were 16 and I’ve never seen him looking at any other woman the way he looks at you.”

The beta nurse smiled openly in response.

“Thank you, Alexandrita.”

“ _Alexandrina_ ,” you corrected her.

“Alexandrina,” she repeated herself.

“Yes,” you nodded. “But I’d rather having you calling me doctor.”

He smiled deflated a bit.

“Will I ever know your actual name?”

You thought to yourself for a moment. Dot had shown herself to be very trustworthy since you’d met and you had quite the affection for her.

“Maybe. Maybe not,” you trailed off. “We’ll see.”

She didn’t seem very satisfied.

“Does Barnes know?”

“I need privacy, Dot,” you waved the letter in your hand. “I’ll talk to you tonight.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Alright, doctor Alexandrina.”

You shook your head, but finally moved your attention to Bucky’s letter when she was gone.

  
  


> _ Dear Y/N, _
> 
> _ I’ve arrived safely. The other Alphas were right, the town is a pretty sight to see, but I’d probably enjoy it more if it didn’t stink so much like Alpha – though maybe that was only the car. I’ll never know. _
> 
> _ They separated us into different housings, and the place I’m staying actually had some nice grub, better than in the camp. I better not get accustomed to it. _

  
  


You chuckled. The food wasn’t exactly food for any of you, so you related to him on the subject. The only thing you looked forward during heats was the different food.

  
  


> _ Aside from that, everything is quite boring. I can’t open the windows so the room is mostly quiet. _
> 
> _ I already miss you terribly.  _
> 
> _ Sincerely, _
> 
> _ \- Bucky _

  
  


You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips and sighed. Those would be long days waiting for him to come back. You picked up a pen and paper, the words Abraam had told you still in your mind. It would be good to have Bucky spending Passover with you. But how would he feel about it? You didn’t even know his religion. He could very much be an Atheist.

Well, it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

  
  


> _ Dear Bucky, _
> 
> _ I told you, you should have brought a book with yourself. The inns that take Omegas are quite boring just as well, and I suppose the ones that take Alphas aren’t so different. _

  
  


You looked around, glancing at the bookcase by your side, knowing a big part of it was yours, but some of the books were sent by the government to the soldiers, and picked up a copy of ‘A Tree Grows in Brooklyn’. Bucky had told you more than once that the place was his home and the book was one of those sent to you.

  
  


> _ I’m sending you a book to hopefully pass the time. Don’t forget to take the pills and get yourself hydrated. _
> 
> _ I was speaking to Abraam, some soldiers are reuniting to spend Passover together and he suggest that you spend it with us. It’s not a problem if you don’t feel like it, it’s just an idea. _
> 
> _ I miss you just as much. _
> 
> _ Dearly, _
> 
> _ \- Y/N _


	11. XI

Day 155

> _ Dear Bucky, _
> 
> _ I told you, you should have brought a book with yourself. The inns that take Omegas are quite boring just as well, and I suppose the ones that take Alphas aren’t so different. _
> 
> _ I’m sending you a book to hopefully pass the time. Don’t forget to take the pills and get yourself hydrated. _
> 
> _ I was speaking to Abraam, some soldiers are reuniting to spend Passover together and he suggested that you spend it with us. It’s not a problem if you don’t feel like it, it’s just an idea. _
> 
> _ I miss you just as much. _
> 
> _ Dearly, _
> 
> _ \- Y/N _
> 
>   
>    
> 

Bucky smiled at the sweet words you’d written, putting aside the book. He had arrived just two days earlier and was counting the hours so he could leave. The pills were only helping so far, but he was still sweating all over enough to have given up on clothes at all and was going in and out of a very horny state – that would be much worse if he hasn’t on suppressants – between his hours and hours of boredom.

Aside from that, there was one other reason he was getting antsy; he was supposed to get a package from back home and was hoping it would arrive before he left back to camp. Before saying goodbye to you – and after writing to his sister – he had had a long conversation with Abraam about your family, your relationship with them, if he would be accepted in it and if he thought you two had a future, and according to your cousin, he’d never seen you love someone as much as you clearly loved him. Your family would be incredibly excited to learn that after so many years of isolating yourself, you were in a relationship. And, honestly, Bucky himself didn’t want to wait to be with you. 

When his oldest sister learnt he was dating you, she was radiant and offered to send him the engagement ring his father had used to propose to his mother and, after a long time, he finally asked her for it. He was going to ask you to marry him as soon as he returned to camp and nothing could stop him. Well, except for the ring not arriving, but he was counting on its arrival, he had sent his sister the letter almost a month ago. 

As if he had read his mind, the owner of the inn knocked on the door patiently. 

“Sergeant Barnes, something arrived for you.”

He pulled a sheet around his body and quickly opened the door, finding the middle-aged man holding a brown package in his hands. 

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes?” he asked in order to confirm. 

“Yes, sir.”

Mr Smith – the owner – handed it over, not saying anything before leaving, and Bucky closed the door, eagerly tearing the paper open and smiling when his eyes fell on the small ring box, taking a deep breath and finally opening it. The ring wasn’t a lot, his family wasn’t rich or anything. The ring was simple and looked good enough, and had a lot of meaning behind it; he knew you would only care about the significance and not the pricing or anything like that. 

His face fell when he realised that now he was lost. How would he propose to you? He couldn’t make a spectacle out of it, you hated being the centre of attention. 

Bucky set the ring aside and pulled out a pen and paper. Yes, he could spend Passover with you. Maybe he could propose after? 

He took a breath. Well, he had another two days for planning before he was back. That was time enough.


	12. XII

**Day 159**

"Shabbat shalom," Dot entered the medical tent, hugging herself in a thin wool coat that was practically nothing when it came to warming her from the rain pouring outside. "We've got some soldiers coming right now, we need you."

You stood up, reaching for your umbrella in a rush. 

"Shabbat shalom. Go change before you catch a cold."

"Doctor, this is big," she ignored you. "Abraam and Rivers are there, they need every hand they can get."

You swallowed hard. 

"Go," you insisted. "Having you sick won't help us at all."

You rushed outside before she could protest, caring little if the umbrella was really going to protect you, and dropped it to the floor as soon as you reached the area where the nurses were ready working along with your nephew. 

"Which infantry?" you rushed to the closest needing man.

"101st. They were hit by at least sixteen grenades, there were four tanks, men were shot down, at least fifteen were killed," he tore a man's shirt open to see the extension of the wounds. "Nurse, I need someone to clean this one before I can do anything."

You took a look at the face of the man in front of you. He had lost part of his leg and you needed to clean up the injury before things went worse.

"I need a number seven and chloroform," you called out, then looked down the soldier's face. "And something for him to bite down."

Abraam turned to you with wide eyes. 

"Chloroform?"

"It's all we got, the new supplies only arrive in three days," you informed him without hesitance. "We'll do with what we have."

* * *

"Klaczko!" Bucky ran to you, calling your surname several times before you finally noticed it, waiting for him under your umbrella. "Y/N."

The rain hadn't stopped yet, and you had worked the whole day, filtering cases from urgent to manageable, and it was only when the sun came down that you were done, which gave you and Abraam just enough time to say the last Shabbat blessings. 

The moment Bucky stopped in front of you, you didn't let him speak, quickly rushing to protect him from the pouring rain, stepping closer and hoping the object in your hands was enough for the two of you. 

"Are you insane? You can catch pneumonia this way," you exclaimed. "James Barnes, fought a war and dozens of battles just to die from rain."

Your boyfriend raised his eyebrows, cracking a small smile but also a foolish face. 

"Uh… Sorry?"

You shook your head. Silly boy.

"Come on, let's get inside," you pointed at your tent. 

Dot was already there, waiting for you with food and in warm clothes. To many people, it was surprising how you could quickly change into a lighter environment after facing the things you were used to facing, but it wasn't new for anyone in the team. You were there to save lives, but there was a time to mourn those who couldn't make it or think of those who needed care, your life shouldn't be ignored in favour of them when you're in a position where you save lives daily.

"Is that dinner?" Bucky questioned, seeing Abraam serving himself unceremoniously, having just shed his coat.

"Beef, peas, potatoes and pudding for four," Dot announced. "Nothing big or new, but it fills you up better than the dinner you boys get. No offense."

You couldn't disagree with her. You missed the food from back home, but you couldn't say the food was inedible in camp. 

"Serve yourself," you offered. "It's the only perk of being a doctor around here."

"And dating one," Dot added. 

"You don't get a lot of benefits from our relationship, dear," your nephew joked.

But she didn't flinch.

"Being with you every day is already a privilege, honey,"

Abraam smiled and you chuckled. He and Dot had finally gone serious, and both were glowing in happiness. 

Bucky sat down, at last, serving himself by your side and glancing at you with the corner of his eyes before actively eating.

“Do you do this a lot?” he asked. “Eat together.”

Sometimes, when we are all off shift at the same time after the Shabbat.”

Your boyfriend frowned. 

“Wouldn’t that be Saturday?”

“It’s the period between a few minutes before Friday’s sunset and a few minutes after Saturday’s sunset.”

He nodded in comprehension. 

“I thought you couldn’t work in that period, but you always do.”

You tried not to look surprised. Bucky had never shown any interest in your religion. What was that now?

“We don’t work,” Dot turned to him. “But because of field, we can’t stop and we’re saving lives or helping people anything we even move, so it’s considered a mitzvah.”

Your boyfriend just stared at her in pure confusion. 

“Which… Would be?”

You chuckled. 

“A good deed,” you explained. “It’s fine.”

He nodded, taking some of the food and eating it eagerly. 

The four of you fell onto silence after that but you couldn’t shake the feeling Bucky was hiding something. Maybe he’d received bad news from home? Or would be transferred to another unity?

“I’m gonna put some music on,” Dot announced. 

Bucky turned to the sit facing you. 

“I heard what happened with unit 101,” he muttered. 

You bit your lower lip and sighed. 

“We did all we could,” you ran a hand over your hair. “It’s a war, you gotta have thick skin.”

“It’s worth it when it ends,” he affirmed. 

You just touched his cheek. You’d seen more wars than you wished. His optimism was something you quite admired.

You heard steps and turned with a frown when you realised Dot and Abraam were gone. 

“Where are they?”

Your boyfriend just gave you a nervous look, shifting on his seat.”

“I thought about this for a while. Us, our relationship, the war my family and yours and… Well, especially about the future. I’ve never been as happy as when I’m with you, and I know you’re happy too. You’re the love of my life.”

Your heart raced in your chest. What was he saying? Where was that going with all that.

“So, I made a decision,” he palmed his pockets nervously, taking something from inside. 

He stood from his chair and dropped to one knee. 

“Y/N Alexandrina Klaczko,” he said your last name slowly. “Will you marry me?”

Your eyes went as wide as plates and you felt all of the blood from your body moving to your face, trying to find words but just babbling sounds you were pretty sure weren’t English. 

So you just nodded, smiling and reaching for him. 

“Is that a yes?” he asked, confused. 

You just blurted out another confirmation, too overwhelmed, and he reached out, placing the ring on your finger and kissing your lips soon after. 

“I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you too.”


	13. XIII

**Day 173**

  


You glanced at the direction of the group of soldiers watching you and Bucky, and they all looked away as soon as they noticed. 

“Everyone is talking about us,” your fiancé noted. “Most of them are confused.”

You just shook your head. It has taken the men two weeks to figure who had been the man to propose to you, and the chatter started the moment they did. 

“As long as they don’t bother me, I don’t mind,” you shrugged. 

“No one is causing problems,” he affirmed. “After all, you’re one of the only three doctors here. No one wants to get on your bad side and have you… I don’t know, forgetting to give them the proper medication during an important thing.”

You turned to him with a frown. 

“James, I took an oath!” 

He just chuckled. 

“You did, but they don’t know it.”

You continued to walk beside him and stopped in front of the medical tent. 

“There’s a mission coming up, the whole infantry has to go,” he told you, losing the smile on his lips. “It looks like something pretty big.”

You just nodded. You didn’t like the idea of Bucky out there, but you were in a war, you couldn’t hold him back from fighting. 

“I was thinking,” you changed the subject. 

“Something you do a lot,” he noted. 

“Where are we going to live?” you questioned. “I know you grew up in Brooklyn, but I’ve never been there. I’ve never even been to New York.”

He offered you a smile. 

“It might be a little different from what you’re probably used to,” he confessed. “Well, I’m pretty sure you would be more used to Brooklyn Heights than to _my_ side of Brooklyn, but it’s a nice place with nice people.”

You continued to hold his arm. You knew Bucky hadn’t had a rich life as you did, and as much as you were willing to change many things for him, you wouldn’t just drop the luxuries you’d been enjoying for more than a century to live in a place that can’t hold itself up, although you’d never said that in such a way to him.

“We can find something that falls into the middle ground,” you offered. “Not too different from anything we’re both used to. And we can open our clinic where your current house is.”

These last two weeks, you and Bucky had been coming up with ideas for what you were going to do after the war was over, and after much insistence, he’d agreed on allowing you to be briefly responsible for your housing until he found a job and entered university, and you would have your own clinic to attend those in need.

“My house?” he stared at you in confusion. “What about my family? Where will they live?”

You frowned. 

“With us, obviously,” you pointed out. “We’ll get a place big enough for all of us and get your siblings into a good school. You said it was Rebecca’s dream to be a nurse, I’m sure the others think about their futures just as well.”

Bucky confirmed shyly and you gave him a small smile. 

“We’ll do that for her, and we can plan the rest as we go,” you decided. “We have time.”

He looked around and, surprising you, gave your lips in a peck. 

“I have to go,” he announced. 

“Wait,” you interrupted you. “When are you leaving?”

“Tonight,” he stopped. “Hopefully, not for long.”

You confirmed silently. 

“I’ll come back to see you before it’s time to go,” he promised. “Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” you whispered. “Be careful!”

Bucky grinned. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

. . .

“Doc?” Dot stopped by your side. “Are you okay?”

You uncrossed your arms, seeing the soldiers around preparing for leaving camp. 

“Just worries,” you confessed. “I’ll be okay.”

She reached for your hand and squeezed it discreetly. 

“He’ll be fine,” she assured you. “Don’t worry.”

You couldn’t believe her words even if you wanted to. There was something that terrified you seeing him go this time. 

“Abraam told me what happened to your family,” she said in a low voice. “It’s not gonna happen again.”

You just kept your silence; the last thing you wanted now was to count your losses. 

“Doc,” you heard and looked at where Bucky’s voice came. “Hey.”

The nurse by your side swiftly scooped herself away, leaving you two alone, and your fiancé took your hand. 

“It’s time to go,” he affirmed with a sigh. “I’ll be back before you notice.”

“Then you’ll have to come back the moment you turn around.”

Bucky just gave you a small smiled and lowered his lips to your hand, kissing your skin. It wasn’t enough for you, though. Throwing discretion at the wind, you kissed his lips with a mixture of passion and sadness, hugging him tightly right after. 

“ _Kocham cię_ ,” you whispered. “I love you.”

“ _Ja też cię kocham,”_ he said, a bit uncertain on the only words he’d insisted on learning on your original language, but still very sincere. “I love you too,” 

Bucky stepped back and you bit your lip hesitantly. 

“Be careful, please.”

“Don’t worry, I always am.”

  
  



	14. XIV

**Night Between Days 187 and 188**

Passover came and left once again, and by the time you accepted Bucky wouldn’t be back by it, you were already stressed out of your mind. 

“Ma’am?” you heard behind you, turning around to find Dot walking to you. “It’s late. You should rest.”

You shook your head. You were waiting for Bucky. You couldn’t imagine how he would feel if no one was there when he arrived. 

“I’m okay,” you lied. “I’ll go back inside once the earlier group is out.”

Your nephew’s girlfriend crossed her arms.

“That’s in four hours,” she exclaimed. “It’s a long time.”

“It’s why you should sleep,” you pointed out. “I’m used to being up for long days.”

“For three days straight?” 

You didn’t answer. You hadn’t been resting since your fiancé left and wouldn’t find any rest until he was back.

Dot left your side and you supposed she was going to leave you alone, but that wasn’t it. She walked to you just a moment later, and put two chairs side by side. 

“Then I’ll keep you company.”

You didn’t protest. It was good not to be completely alone, after all. 

An hour after that, four cars were approaching the camp, and you put yourself on your feet as quickly as you saw them, though the group simply couldn’t be the one you were waiting for. 

Abraam approached you with a frown on his face you were sure you shared, and the three of you watched them pull out, most of the group being composed by woman, but some of them with weird equipment you weren’t familiar with. 

“New medical staff?” your nephew asked. 

“Doesn’t look like medical equipment to me,” you crossed your arms, looking from head to toe the massive man who’d just left along with the girls. 

A woman in uniform caught you watching them and moved in your direction with confident steps. 

“Good evening,” she addressed your group. Judging by her accent, she was from England, maybe London, and her smell was one of a Beta. “I’m Agent Carter.”

The massive man followed after her and some of the girls just continued to chit chat, although others did just the same, and you weren’t surprised to smell that he was an Alpha. 

“Doctor Klaczko,” you offered your hand for her to shake. “This is my cousin, also Doctor Klaczko and Nurse Koplowitz.”

“Good evening,” your nephew said politely. 

“Do you know where I can find Colonel Philips? He’s waiting for us.”

Dot and Abraam exchanged looks.

“I can take you there, agent,” she offered. “You and Mister…”

The big blonde man opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by one of the girls who’d followed the two of them. 

“He’s Captain America.”

Your friend raised her eyebrows, but neutralised her expression soon enough. 

“You and Captain America,” she concluded.

They left and Abraam used the opportunity to pull you aside. 

“Go sleep,” he instructed. 

“Abraam...”

“I’ll let you know if anything new happens,” he promised, interrupting you. “But as powerful as you are, you can’t go on like this.”

You shifted on your spot. 

“You’re going to wake me up, right?” 

“I will, don’t worry,” he affirmed. “ _ Obiecuję _ . I promise.”


	15. XV

You washed your face, drying it with a towel before fixing your hair and walking out of your tent. There was a cloud looming over the camp with a feeling you couldn’t quite describe but was very off.

When you stepped out, everyone turned to look at you before quickly adverting your eyes, making you frown in confusion.

Knowing Abraam was still on call, you marched right into the medical tent, finding him examining a man and treating a gash on his leg while another few waited.

“Do you need help?” you offered, walking to wash your hands and looking for clean rubber gloves.

“I… Doctor,” he talked slowly. “I think you should talk to Nurse Dorothy.”

You stopped, frowning.

“Why?”

He eyed the man as he bit his lips in nervousness, and you could see how he was trying to soften something he was about to say.

“Say it to my face,” you hissed.

“These are men from Infantry 107,” your nephew muttered.

You felt happiness pouring from your chest.

“Then James is back,” you held back a smile.

But the look on his face made you stop and search for anything on the other men, but all of them were looking down at their feet.

“I really think you should talk to her.”

You straightened your back, tossing the gloves away and walking out right to where you knew Colonel Philips would be. Your heart was racing, making your whole chest hurt, and it was hard to swallow as you stepped inside.

“Colonel,” you called, trying to sound firm and not as scared as you truly were.

The old Alpha stood from his desk, and you could see his eyes averting from yours in some sort of shame.

“Doctor Klakzco.”

“Your men are back,” you noted. “I would like to check one name, please.”

He didn’t move to look at the paper in front of him, just sighing.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said slowly. “Sergeant Barnes hasn’t returned.”

You gritted your adjusted your posture once again, trying to control yourself. He couldn’t be saying the truth. Bucky had said he would be back.

“Check your papers.”

He shifted on his feet.

“Ma’am…”

“Check it,” you repeated it.

This time he did so, reading every surname starting for you and raising his head when it came to an end.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Miss Klakzco.”

You swallowed hard as the floor disappeared from under your feet, but hardened your expression.

“It’s doctor,” you corrected him.

“I’m sorry for your loss, _doctor_ ,” he repeated, slowly.

You couldn’t even see him in front of you, suddenly dizzy.

“Doctor,” the man called. “Doctor? Y/N.”

You raised your head in a flash, unused to being called by your first name.

“You are… Vibrating, ma’am.”

You raised your hands, seeing how your skin was emitting a low light.

“Excuse me.”

He didn’t dare interrupted you and you walked straight to the medical tent just as the last man left it. Your nephew caught your arm just as you felt your legs giving out, hugging out as unwanted tears poured from your eyes.

“ _Tak bardzo mi przykro_ ,” he whispered, holding your tightly. “ _Tak bardzo mi przykro_.”

(I’m so sorry)

You felt your whole body shaking painfully. You weren’t used to crying, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been in a situation so horrible that it had brought you to the state you were right now, but there you were.

 _“On nie wrócił_ ,” you felt your chest hurt, finding it hard to breath. _“Abraam, on odszedł.”_

(He didn’t come back. Abraam, he’s gone.)

Your nephew only held you tighter and used the fact that you weren’t even steady on your legs to guide you to the closest surface, sitting your down, and you felt a shift in his grip for a moment when the group shook out of nowhere. You knew that was you, but you couldn’t quite control it.

“ _Ciociu Y/N, proszę, uspokój się_ ” he moved his hands to your hair, moving your face so you could look into his eyes, and you could see how his skin was illuminated by your own. “Please.”

(Aunt Y/N, please, calm down.)

You just sobbed harder, unable to control yourself.

Everyone you loved died, it was like your immortality sucked the life out of them. Sooner or later, they would all be gone.

“Dot, I need fifteen tablets of Butabarbital,” he turned to the door.

“Abraam, that’s too much,” you heard the nurse answering but didn’t even look at her. 

“Not for her, trust me,” he affirmed. “Please. Right now.”

The ground shook once again, harder than before, and your nephew held your chin.

“Look at me,” he whispered. “Breathe, please. I know it hurts, I know. But if you don’t calm down we might suffer from more losses than first expected.”

You could answer, nor focus on his words, and followed his instructions when he offered you several pills, placing each one between your lips and a gulp of water in between.

“Abraam, that might kill her,” Dot insisted. “Do you know how much you gave her?! It’s poisoning! It can kill a normal person.”

He turned to his girlfriend.

“Do you see her?” he asked. “Do you feel the ground shaking?”

She nodded.

“It can kill a normal person, but she’s not normal.”

Dot hesitated, but her eyes fell on your glowing skin, and she bit her lower lip, walking to you and taking your hand.

“How can I help?”


	16. XVI

**Day 188**

“Doctor Klaczko?” a grave voice called and Abraam raised his eyes in quick response.

The massive strong man who’d arrived at the camp just last night was standing at the entrance to the tent.

“Yes?”

“The other doctor Klaczko,” he corrected him. “Miss… Y/N A. Klaczko.”

Abraam looked from the man to the bed where you were laying down then back, unsure if it was the best idea for you to talk to anyone right now. You weren’t asleep and had gotten a bit of a grip on yourself, but were still crying silently into your pillow. Abraam couldn’t bring himself to move you to your own tent, so he just put a separator in front of the bed when you laid to preserve your privacy.

“Why do you want to talk to her?”

“She’s Sergeant Barnes’ fiancée, right?” he questioned. “I’m his best friend, Steve Rogers. I’m sure he talked about me at some point.”

Abraam heard a sound and turned to see you standing up from where you laid, smoothing your hair – now loose over your shoulders – while walking to his side. Silently, he walked to you and held your arm gently.

“Steve Rogers?” you questioned.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Your nephew watched as you eyed the man up and down before swallowing hard. He’d never seen you like this, so vulnerable and hurt. You were an immortal being, something the world couldn’t explain, but you just looked so… fragile.

“Bucky described you very differently.”

He shifted on his place uncomfortably.

“It’s a long story.”

You didn’t react, and Abraam turned to the man with raised eyebrows, waiting for an explanation to why he was there.

“I’m leaving to rescue Bucky,” he affirmed firmly. “Right now. I'll bring him back, ma’am, I promise.”

* * *

“She’s asleep,” Dot announced, walking to his side. “She had… I don’t want to count how much medicine she had or I’ll be even more worried.”

Abraam lowered his eyes again. He knew Dot needed a lot of explanations now and he couldn’t lie to her. 

“We should talk,” he suggested. 

“We should,” the redhead nodded. 

He took a long breath, watching as she sat down on the chair in front of him and waited silently. 

“I bet you have a lot of questions,” he breathed deeply. “Before I start, I must say that I deeply trust you, Dot. I would never ask for your help if I didn’t and now I’m asking for your complete silence about this situation and about what I’m about to tell you. This secret has been in my family for generations and I’m only telling you about it because I know you won’t reveal it, and that you’ll be part of the family someday.”

She blushed, and he looked down to his own hands, changing his posture right after. 

“I’ll tell you what I know,” Abraam decided. “And it’s not much, I must point out.”

Dot confirmed and took a breath. 

“Back in 1815, my great-great…” he interrupted himself and gave her a brief awkward smile. “Well, you get the message. His name was Albert, he was a doctor in Poland and his wife was dying. They didn’t know why or how to help her and he was mostly lost and he found something.”

She tilted her head. 

“Something?”

“Stones,” he spoke slowly. “It’s confusing. He never explained a lot of it. He just said he found some stones, powerful stones that he kept around his wife for some reason.”

Dot nodded gently and Abraam hesitated, looking for words. 

“And apparently they saved her,” he affirmed, trying to sound coherent. “And she found out she was pregnant a while later when she was almost 30. I know that might not be so old, but…”

“It was the 1800’s,” Dot noted. “It was kinda old.”

He confirmed gently. 

“Yes. And she gave birth to a baby, a girl, and she was extraordinary,” he said the last word slowly. “She was intelligent, a quick learner, beautiful and she was… She was perfect, that’s the only word I’ve ever heard them used to describe her.”

He watched his girlfriend’s face, looking for clues that she was understanding what he was saying before proceeding. 

“Then one day came in 1839 or 1840 that she was out with her older sister Hannah and her husband when horses got loose in the street for some reason, 25 to 30 of them, and Hannah’s husband pulled her from the street but could only help her older sister. She was trampled by all of them all over her body, including her head, and everyone thought she was dead. They brought her home and... “ Abraam hesitated. 

He could remember the day he’d been told that story as it’d happened just moments ago. His father had sat down with him days before he started university, and said that what he was about to tell him would change his life, and he would never do so if he didn’t trust his son to behave like an adult man. He couldn’t believe when he told him the story at first, but suddenly, all of the family pictures, secrets, and pieces that didn’t fit finally made sense. 

“But she woke up as if she’d just fallen asleep. The wounds on her skin healed in front of her father’s eyes like they were nothing,” he continued, feeling a shiver on his back. “That’s when they knew she was really extraordinary.”

Dot blinked a couple of time, absorbing the facts slowly, and faced him with a frown on her face. 

“You’re telling me that whatever she was has been passed on through your family since them?” she questioned. 

Abraam shifted in his place. 

“Well… Yes and no. Albert and his wife died, and his young daughter never got married. Instead, she went on to live with her brother, Antoni. When Antoni died, she went on to live with his youngest son, Aleksander, then on with his son Fabian,” he told slowly. “And helped him raise his older son, Jakub, when his first wife died.”

The frown on Dot’s face increased and she just stared at him in deep confusion. 

“In 1929, Jakub took his wife and his only son and moved to America. A few years later, the woman moved in with him disguised as his niece. He put her in medical school along with his son and now we are both here,” he glanced at where you were laid. “Me and her. And you, I guess.”


	17. XVII

**Night Between Days 188 and 189**

Abraam offered you a glass of water and you kept your silence while Agent Carter sat quietly by the corner holding a radio in her hands, and Dot was nowhere to be seen.

You’d been sitting there since you woke up just an hour earlier, unable to stay lied while waiting for whatever Steve Rogers had promised to do.

“Can I have a moment with you, doctor?” she finally asked, which made you raise your eyes.

“Doctor Klaczko is part of my family. Anything you have to say, you can say in front of him,” you declared.

Agent Carter hesitated. 

“I suppose he knows about your participation in the recent experiments...”

“With Doctor Erskine,” you interrupted her. “Yes. I donated some blood for the creation of the perfect soldier Serum, although I don’t know if that worked.”

She was taken aback by your harsh tone for a moment but recomposed quickly enough.

“Steve is the result of the experiment. If anyone can ever save Sergeant Barnes, that’s him.”

You covered your face with your hands, absolutely impatient.

“Can you just… Not?” you asked. “Please.”

Carter fell back onto silence and Abraam reached to rub your back, but you pushed him away.

“ _Nie dotykaj mnie! Nie próbuj mnie dotykać!”_ you growled, not even caring to say it in a language the Agent in the room would understand _. “Dlaczego zawsze, kiedy coś się dzieje, chcesz mnie dotknąć, chociaż dosknonale wiesz, że potrzebuję dystansu, do cholery?!”_

(Stop touching me! Stop trying to touch me! Why is it that every time something happens someone just tries to fucking touch me even though you know I need space?!)

Abraam stepped back and you could see how your skin was glowing just the slightest all over again, taking a breath to calm down. 

“Just… Don’t touch me,” you finally said, covering your face once again. “Just don’t.”

He knelt in front of you in a silent plea. 

“Please, tell me what to do,” he whispered. “I need to do something.”

“Go find your girlfriend,” you instructed. “She’s probably worried and confused now.”

He nodded, not protesting your orders, and left you alone with the British Agent that’d be around you long enough that her presence has become almost irrelevant. 

“Do you want me to leave too?” 

You sighed. You didn’t want to be alone. The only reason you had sent Abraam away was that he was nervous and only enabling your worst worries. 

“You can stay,” you said in a sigh. “But I don’t want to have a conversation.”

She gave you a nod and clenched the radio tightly. 

“That won’t be a problem.”

**Day 189**

You heard the whistling before Carter could wake up from the dim and light slip, standing up and just fixing your hair the slightest with your hands, feeling knots that were probably there since Passover, before walking out of the room. 

You didn’t have to walk even three steps from inside. Pale, sweaty and wounded, but alive, Bucky was walking right in your direction and dropped the gun in his hand as soon as he laid eyes on you, walking past the soldiers as they opened a small path for him to reach you. 

You didn’t even know who got there first, but you two hugged tightly as soon as you were at arms’ length, and you couldn’t hold back your tears when he lifted you and his arms surrounded you. 

“Omega,” Bucky whispered, both needy, possessive and incredibly vulnerable at the same time, burying his face in the crook of your neck. 

“Alpha,” you sobbed. 

You kissed, ignoring when everyone started clapping around you and cupped his face just as he moved away. There was something in his eyes; a darkness too strange for you, but clearly filled with fear and more that you could decipher. 

“How are you?”

“I have you with me now,” he moved both his hands to your face, caressing your cheeks. “Nothing else matters.”

You smiled, still worried but saving the subject for another occasion, and he moved an arm to around your waist before turning around to the crowd. 

“Hey!” your boyfriend called loudly. “Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

The whole group cheered, and James turned to you again, and you tried to brush away your fears away.


	18. XVIII

**Night of the day 189**

“Steve is going to England,” Bucky whispered, making you lift your head in curiosity. “I’m going with him.”

You were laid on your bed, undisturbed. While the men celebrated the win outside, your fiancé had opted for waiting in with you, silently laying and just being close. 

“When are we leaving?” 

You could see the surprise and the content on Bucky’s face as if the idea was what he didn’t expect but still hoped for. 

“You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to,” your fiancé pointed out. “I’m not gonna ask you to sacrifice your life following me around.”

You just shook your head. You couldn’t let him go like that, not after what you’d been through. 

You could hear the voice of your father reading the Torah from you, reciting the words and confiding you with the sweet secret that those were the words your mother told him when they were young and unmarried and face the possibility of being apart, and couldn’t find anything better to say than that.

“ _ Nie wiedź mię do tego, abym cię opuścić i od ciebie odejść miała. Owszem gdziekolwiek pójdziesz, z tobą pójdę, a gdziekolwiek mieszkać będziesz, z tobą mieszkać będę,” _ you affirmed, staring into his blue eyes with certainty. “ _ Gdzie umrzesz, tam i ja umrę, i tam pogrzebiona będę. To mi niech uczyni Pan, i to niech przepuści na mię, że tylko śmierć rozłączy mię z tobą.” _

James continued to look at you, puzzled but with a glimmer in his eyes. 

“Sounds beautiful, but I don’t know what you said,” he smiled shyly. 

“Don’t urge me to leave or to turn from following you. For wherever you go I will go, and wherever you live I will live,” you recited. “Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. So may the Lord do to me and so may He continue, if anything but death separate me and you.” 

Your fiancé’s eyes teared up and he reached to touch your face gently. 

“You’re too good,” he ran his touch over your skin. “What about your work?”

“I’ll be useful there too,” you shrugged. 

“Abraam?” he pushed you.

“He’ll survive without me.”

He chuckled. 

“Alright,” Bucky moved and kissed you on the forehead. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

You touched his face gently, and Bucky leant onto your direction to take your lips in his, and reached to hold you, but stopped himself, pulling away. 

“I should go,” he decided. “It’s late.”

You almost whined. 

“No,” you held him. “Please, stay.”

Bucky gave you a small smile. 

“Doll, if I stay, we’ll end up doing something we’ll probably regret later,” he pointed out. “And I’m not gonna mate you in a twin bed as thick as cardboard in the middle of a dusty camp in nowhere Europe.”

You felt your cheeks warm and your fiancé kissed your cheek gently. 

“Goodnight.”

**Day 190**

“Be careful,” Abraam affirmed. “ _ Proszę _ .”

_ *Please. _

You touched his arm gently and offered your nephew a small smile. 

“You know that I should be the one worrying about you, right? I’m not going to be here to protect you anymore,” you noted. “You’re a kid all alone in an unknown country.”

Abraam rolled his eyes, although smiling. 

“Please write,” he insisted. “And call if you have an opportunity, they’ll let you know where I am if you ask.”

His blue eyes moved from you, falling on Bucky while he talked with his friends far away enough that your conversation wouldn’t be heard. 

“Are you telling him?”

You took a deep breath. You had debated alone over telling Bucky the truth or not since he’d left your tent the night before, and the conclusion was clear. You couldn’t hide it from him. 

“I have to,” you affirmed, although you were sure he knew that already. 

Abraam made a face, clearly annoyed while frowning his nose in a way that reminded you of his late grandmother when she disagreed with something. 

“You don’t  _ have _ to,” he emphasised the word. “You can just keep the secret in the family and powder your hair grey when you turn 40.”

You raised him an eyebrow and your nephew deflated, although you could still see the feeling behind his eyes. 

“Just be careful, okay. When was the last time you weren’t around someone in our family to cover your identity?” he whispered, clearly distressed. “And we’re as far from home as we can possibly be. And there are people out there hunting Jews as if our heads were worth pounds of gold or something.”

You caressed his shoulders in a comforting motion. 

“It’s okay. No one is gonna cut my head off of my shoulder, I can assure you.”

He shook his head and Dot approached the two of you, taking his hand in his hers. 

“She’ll be fine,” she affirmed, offering you a small smile. “She has been for more than a century, it’s clear that she can take care of herself.”

You smiled back at her. 

“Will you take care of him for me?” you asked. “I’ve been doing that his whole life, but he’s too proud to admit it.”

The redhead nurse nodded, glancing at her boyfriend before looking back at you. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

You two hugged gently and she kissed your cheek. 

“Be careful out there.”

“I will.”

You left them and Bucky offered you a hand right after opening the door for you to get in the car, hopping right by your side and keeping a defensive position while everyone else stepped in just as well.

“London, you said?” you turned to him, going right back onto your usual neutral and impenetrable tone of voice. 

“We’ll be arriving before sunset and head directly into a meeting,” he listed and turned to you with a curious look. “I’m surprised by how you got such a fast and easy discharge to come today.”

You just faced forward, exchanging a short look with Agent Carter as you took off. 

“I have contacts. I’ll tell you more about it when we have time.”


	19. XIX

**Day 191**

“Fifth one is here in Poland, near the Baltic,” Captain Rogers made a circle around the area. 

“That’s Gdańsk, if you’re pointing right,” you noted. 

Someone else confirmed with a hum, but your eyes were lingering in one of his markings of weapon factories. Something, your instinct perhaps, was telling you there was something there calling for you. 

“Doctor?” Agent Carter stopped by your side. What is it?”

You hesitated. You could be going insane, it could be just your imagination tricking you, but that had never happened before. All of your instincts - for 123 years - were proven right at some point. 

“There’s something in there,” you continued to stare onto the map. 

“Something?” Colonel Phillips questioned. “Those are weapon factories, they are bound to have many  _ somethings  _ inside.”

“Something,” you insisted. “And I thought you were wise enough not to doubt my ideas, Colonel.”

The man looked into your eyes for a moment, then away and to Rogers. 

“The team,” he turned to him. “We’re already getting the best men together.”

“With all respect, I am too,” the blond man affirmed, almost  _ correcting  _ him. 

“I’ll be accompanying you,” you declared. 

The blond Alpha Private by the Colonel’s side frowned at your affirmation, but the older man didn’t seem surprised, only nodding, and Rogers turned to you with a curious face while they walked away. 

“I hope you don’t take this as an offence, doctor,” he said slowly. “But you’re not a combatant.”

You wanted to chuckle but didn’t. Before, you weren’t sure Steve Rogers was aware of your involvement in the project that made him into what he was today, but with  _ this _ , you were sure he didn’t know much. 

“Do you mind having me going with you after your team, captain?” you questioned, knowing he was going out to meet the boys. 

Bucky had left you earlier that afternoon and was out with the men from his infantry. You knew Rogers wanted to call his team, and you were quite sure the conversation you were about to have wasn’t a small one. 

“It’s no problem, ma’am,” he assured you.

It was a weird change, to go from men’s clothes in camp to the usual clothes you hadn’t worn for a year since you left the US. Back when you were in your homeland, you were always properly dressed and it was strange how the habit was one that’d left you quickly after you assumed your new position. 

“How much do you know about the serum you were injected with, Captain Rogers?” you questioned

His posture changed a bit, and he watched you with curiosity. 

“A bit. Why?”

You crossed your hands in front of you while he walked by your side on the pavement. 

“I was part of the project. I wasn’t as active as some members, but I was part of it in a very…” you hesitated, looking for words. “Well, it was a very curious way.”

He waited expectantly, and you uncrossed your hands just to cross them back again. 

“I donated my blood,” you explained. 

The look you got from Rogers was exactly the one you expected, and that made you hold back a small grin. 

“I know,” you continued. “Very strange, indeed.”

Rogers absorbed the information silently. 

“How much of the serum comes from you?” he finally questioned. 

“I’m unsure,” you noted. “But I know you’re nearly as strong and fast as I potentially am, your reflexes are just as good as mine, you can see, hear, feel, and taste more than the normal person… And you are very hard to kill.”

“Potentially?” he turned to face you, raising his eyebrows. 

You continued walking, and he caught up with you in a very short moment. 

“Most of my life I decided against using my abilities,” you chose your words carefully.  _ Abilities. You didn’t even know if you could call them simply that.  _ “Only in the most recent years, I’ve decided to do something decent with them and save some lives while I can.”

You stopped by the door of the pub, and Rogers looked at your face, and you could see how he was still trying to understand the meaning behind the words you said to him. 

“We have that in common too, then,” he noted. “We both want to save lives.”

You nodded in confirmation. 

“I wouldn’t expect any less from someone I’ve seen going on a suicide mission to save his best friend.”

Rogers smiled and opened the door for you, letting you walk in before him and giving you a moment to recover from the quick flash of worry that must have crossed your eyes. 

You couldn’t help but wonder if Steve Rogers was like you,  _ truly _ like you. 

Had you doomed him to an immortal life just like yours? 

You were woken from your thoughts when you felt a hand landing on your waist and held the owner’s wrist in a death-like grip as an instant reaction turning to find a curious Bucky, and released him with a nervous laugh. 

“I take this as you don’t enjoy being surprised?” he opened a small grin. “What are you doing here?”

You looked around. The place wasn’t exactly one you’d find yourself in normal circumstances, but what was  _ normal  _ now, honestly?

“I was talking to your friend,” you decided. “Catching up.”

Bucky smiled, although still confused, and put his hand over where it was minutes earlier. 

“Come on, let’s sit and… Eat something?” he looked around. “I’m sure they have food along with the booze.”


	20. XX

**Night of Day 192**

You moaned into Bucky’s mouth, dragging your fingers through his hair, purposefully pulling him back with you to your bed.

Truth is, every day your craving for your fiancé only grew. You never knew you could feel so  _ awake  _ around someone the way you felt around him, something you’d never felt in 123 years of life, and you just wanted him more and more every moment in your life. Maybe it was the Omega in you talking, but every time he touched you, you wanted him for yourself, not just as a fiancé or a husband, but as a true and final mate.

“We should stop,” he kissed your neck, squeezing your bum in his large hand. “ _ Fuck, _ Omega, I can smell your arousal already.”

You simply melted into his grip, completely ready to step up and not wait another second to mate, but the little voice in your head was quick to point out that you couldn’t. Not now. Not without telling him the truth.

“Wait,” you put your hands on his chest. “Before we do anything there’s something we need to talk about.”

Bucky frowned, a bit confused, but sat down on the mattress.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned.

You licked your lips and took a deep breath. You couldn’t hide things from him that way, you’d been together for quite a while now, and you were  _ engaged. _

“I….” you hesitated. “You know how Steve got injected with a special serum, right?”

He nodded and you fidgeted with your clothes.

“Well, I was part of the experiment that brought the serum to existence. I contributed to it by donating my blood,” you spoke slowly. “And… All of Steve’s new abilities are originally mine.”

Your fiancé just stared at you, completely shocked, for a whole minute that felt like an eternity. He then raised his hands to his face and rubbed it slowly, moving them to his hair and pulling on its ends.

“So, you’re that strong?” he asked. “And… You run like that? And you can’t get easily hurt?”

You nodded, confirmed all of his affirmations.

“And some other features, yes. I…” you shifted on your place. “Well, I haven’t actually figured out the real extent of my abilities. My father tried to help me with that, but… There wasn’t much he could do, I’ve only manifested them strongly so far was when emotionally overwhelmed.”

He took it in silence once again, changing his posture to rest his elbows on his knees. You could see a hundred thoughts running through his mind and a thousand of emotions crossing his face with each second that passed.

“Why did you decide to tell that to me now?”

You squeezed your own hand tightly.

“I love you,” you said in a low voice, just enough for him to hear. “I don’t want to lie to you. I want you to know who I am before we make any decisions: before we mate, before we get married. I don’t want you to regret taking me as your Omega and as your wife when you find out that I’m not normal.”

He gave you a small smile.

“Doll, you’ve never been normal,” he pointed out. “Well… Okay then. I guess we’ll have some stronger than average kids.”

You let out a breath, feeling as if some big weight was lifted from your back. He hadn’t run away from you. That was good.

“There something else too,” you spoke, pinching the skin of the back on your hand in between your fingers. “And I… I truly don’t know how to explain it but… I don’t…” you looked for words. “When I was younger back in my original country there was an accident.”

He raised his eyebrows, worried and surprised.

“Horses had been released in the street, dozens of them. I was walking with my sister and I remember that I pushed her out of the way, but I couldn’t move quick enough myself. I fell and…” you stopped.

Bucky lowered his head, already knowing what had happened in the situation.

“They thought I was dead,” you affirmed. “My father said my heart had stopped and my head had a big injury, I was bleeding everywhere and even some of my brain was out, my sister fainted when she saw it,” you remembered, swallowing down hard. “They brought me home and… We don’t know what happened but by the time we got there, my skull was closed, my head wasn’t open any more, all of my bruises were gone. I woke up one hour later.”

He blinked several times.

“You’re saying…”

“I’m saying I’m very hard to kill,” you declared, avoiding the word that was plaguing your mind.

Not now. You would tell him all of it, but  _ not now _ .

Bucky absorbed the story slowly, and you maintained your silence while he did so. When he finally reached for you, your heart was pounding in your chest, so loud that you were afraid he might hear it.

“Marry me,” he asked.

You frowned, confused.

“We’re already engaged, I said yes when you asked me.”

But your fiancé shook his head.

“I mean tomorrow,” he corrected you. “Let’s get rings and Steve and go to a court and get married.”

You were taken by surprise.

“Tomorrow?”

“In the morning,” he explained, opening a smile. “Then we can take a day off and… Well,” your fiancé blushed. “Do whatever you want to do.”

You opened and closed your mouth.

“It’s so sudden,” you decided to say.

But Bucky wasn’t even affected by that.

“I can’t take another minute away from you,” he whispered. “I can’t take another minute knowing you’re not completely mine, not being bonded to you, and I won’t disgrace you by bonding you without giving you my name first.”

You felt tears coming up your eyes but blinked them away.

“After all I’ve told you…”

“You’ve told me a secret you seen to have been carrying around your whole life,” he squeezed your hand. “I think that means it’s my turn to make your life easier and carry it with you.”

You nodded, and he kissed your palm gently.

“Okay,” you sniffled. “I’ll marry you.”


	21. XXI

Day 193

  
  


“It’s not a white dress,” you ran a hand over your blue skirt. “But those weren’t a thing before Queen Victoria anyway.”

You lowered your eyes for a moment. You could still remember that day: you had been present along with your parents and your older brother – his wife was unable to be present, as she was about to give birth to your niece Klotylda – and your family was hoping to find a good suitor for you to marry, as you were just a few days older than 20 and at the perfectly right age for that. Your mother was quick to point out that Prince Albert had many cousins in Bonn that were looking for a noble or aristocratic wife and ‘some of them might be Jewish’, when you inquired why they had made you travel all the way to England. Your family was part of the Austrian nobility until it was extinguished in 1918, even though you identified as Polish. It was a strange time to be Polish, especially because your country was never really stable until 1918, though that was a long and different story.

Since Victoria’s wedding to Prince Albert, white wedding dresses became the norm, but you weren’t fussing much over the fact you weren’t wearing one – you weren’t even wearing a _dress,_ to be more precise. Behind you in the mirror, Agent Carter just offered a small smile.

“Does it matter?”

You turned to her. When you were 13, your older sister – and your only sister, for that matter – Hannah had married her husband in a red dress, one so beautiful that even one of the Hapsburg girls copied her years later. If she married in red, why couldn’t you marry in blue?

A deep feeling made your stomach sink. You lived to see your sister and brothers marry, then their children, and on and on, but none of them were here to see you. Even Jakub wasn’t there to see you – he was in the States with the rest of his family, and Abraam was _somewhere_ in France. Once again, you were truly alone.

“Doctor?” Agent Carter called your name again.

You blinked the tears that threatened to form in your eyes away, then gave her a small smile.

“It doesn’t matter,” you answered, both about your thoughts and her words. “Let’s go.”

She followed you out of your hotel room without any more words and was the one who drove you to the courthouse, where the wedding was to take place.

Your heart was racing when you reached the room where Bucky was already waiting with his best friend, and Rogers had the sense of looking away when you two hugged tightly.

“Barnes,” a man called, a couple of minutes later, opening the door of the courtroom. “James Buchanan Barnes.”

Your fiancé held your hand gently, pulling you along. He was in his uniform, wearing his honours and cap and smiling enough for the two of you as your façade was the same as always.

“Did you bring the documents?” a Beta judge questioned, clearly bored from his job.

You pulled your most recent birth certificate – the one you used to go to university and declared you were just 26, a big fat lie – and he raised an eyebrow to the nationality.

“Polish?”

“Left before the invasion,” Bucky jumped in to defend you.

“Jewish too,” you added. “If you’re curious.”

He didn’t respond to the words.

“You’re taking his name, right?” he asked, writing something down to the wedding certificate.

“Actually,” you raised your voice, ready to correct him. “I want to keep both.”

“ _Both_ , miss?” he raised his eyebrows, surprised.

“Doctor,” you corrected him. “My husband’s surname will come last, of course, but I’ll still keep my father’s name.”

You loved Bucky, but you wouldn’t be able to give up on your family’s name.

Your fiancé turned to you with a surprised smile.

“It’s about to be an awful long and unusual name,” he noted.

You chuckled.

“What is there that’s usual about me?” you raised your eyebrows. “I’m a woman doctor marrying a soldier in a country neither of us belongs to.”

He laughed loudly.

“Of course, doctor,” he put emphasis on the last word. “We shall proceed.”

The Beta looked between the two of you, but just took a breath and moved onto continuing with his job.

“Where are your witnesses?”

Rogers and Carter stepped in, and he nodded.

“Mated?” the man asked, looking directly at you.

“No,” Bucky answered.

The man, though, just raised his eyebrows at you.

“ _Doctor_ , shall I see your neck and wrists?”

You sighed, but didn’t protest before pulling all of your hair up, exposing your clean neck before doing the same with your wrists; though they weren’t common places for mating marks, they were still important scent glands and people could be marked there.

He wrote your status down, then stood up.

“James Buchanan Barnes, do you take this Omega as your wife to respect, love, cherish, and protect, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

Bucky’s face lit up with a large smile and brought your hand – which he’d been holding – to his face, kissing it very gently.

“I do.”

You felt your cheeks flushing, and he raised an eyebrow.

_Oh goodness._

“Y/N Alexandrina Klaczko, do you take this Alpha as your husband to respect, love, cherish, and obey, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

You nodded.

“I do.”

“Does anyone have anything to say against this union?” he asked, looking around.

The question was just bureaucratic, but _still_ made you hold your breath, afraid someone would jump in to stop you.

“Then, by the power invested in me by the state, I declare you husband and wife.”

Bucky kissed your hand gently. The man offered you the wedding certificate, and all four of you signed it before the Beta man validated it, giving you two the original and a copy of it.

“Come, wife,” your _husband_ pulled you when you left the courthouse. “Stevie is gifting us with pictures.”

You smiled to Captain Rogers in response, and he just offered you a small nod.

You gave a small but honest smile when the photographer raised his camera, and Bucky posed with you twice before rushing to bring his best friend and Carter to the picture just as well.

“What now?” Rogers questioned.

“We’re going to get rings,” Bucky held your hands in his. “And you’ll be bringing the boys for our wedding lunch at the hotel where Y/N is staying.”

Steven nodded and walked away with Carter, and Bucky kissed your hand with a large smile.

“Come, wife. Let’s find our wedding rings.”


	22. XXII

**Day 193**

  
  


Bucky raised his eyebrows when your taxi stopped in front of the store located in a large high-class neighbourhood. 

“Doll,” he muttered, looking around. 

Before he could say anything else, you pressed the envelope of money onto his chest. 

“Put it in your pocket,” you instructed. “And act confidently.”

He puffed his chest hesitantly, and you just offered him a gentle smile. 

“Let’s go inside.”

He followed you in silence and spared a hesitant glance at the worker who side-eyed him as the two of you stepped in. The place had everything. Earrings, necklaces, sets and individual pieces, and all sorts of rings. 

“We want to see wedding bands,” you smiled at the man behind the counter. 

He, in turn, looked at the two of you up and down before nodding. 

“Y/N,” Bucky whispered. “Everyone is staring at us as if we are invaders.”

You just kept the polite smile on your face. 

“I told you,” you whispered. “Act confidently.”

“Can we afford to get the rings here?”

You held back from answering for a moment. You were a wealthy woman. 123 years of savings and more inheritances than you’d needed had given you privileges you’d yet to see women having. 

You found a loophole in the laws and were able to inherit your own money and forge your birth and death more than once, and this was the first time you used your actual full name since your supposed first death. 

“Don’t worry,” you assured him. “Our family doesn’t have to worry about money ever again.”

He didn’t answer, and the shop worker came back with a box and a ring measurer, quickly taking your finger sizes and presenting options that seemed just fine, but not attractive to you. 

“What about this one?” your  _ husband _ pointed to the set in the display. “It’d look lovely on your finger.”

The set was composed by bands with curved edges, both decorated with small clear stones, quite thick and silver coloured, and the smaller one had an eternity ring right along with it. 

“Those are platinum, sir,” the man informed. “Much more durable than gold.”

Bucky frowned. 

“Durable?”

“A gold ring wears off after some years of wearing,” he explained. “Platinum doesn’t. I might say you’ll be able to pass it down to your grandchildren if you want to.”

You looked up to your husband. A ring that would last forever. 

“I love those. Do you have them in our sizes?”

He walked to the display, bringing it to you.

“Those are your sizes, sir. Ma’am.”

You looked at Bucky again and nodded gently. 

“We’ll take them,” he decided. “And the other ring too.”

“An eternity ring, sir,” the man added.

The shop worker - an Omega - stepped back, finally giving the two of you a chance of seeing the actual price of the full set, and Bucky’s eyes widened. 

“Y/N,” he hissed. “This…”

“There’s more than enough in the envelope,” you assured him. “I told you. Don’t worry.”

He followed the directions to play and didn’t wait to leave the shop to slide the eternity ring onto your finger, followed by the wedding band, and you did the same to him. 

The moment you stepped out of the shop, though, he pulled a bit closer. 

“Did you honestly hand me 500 pounds before we walked in?” he questioned, clearly surprised. 

You just nodded, making him stare at you in surprise. 

“I told you, don’t worry.”

Buck just stared at you with wide eyes. 

“Okay.”

You nodded and he took a deep breath.

“Okay.”

Bucky moved a hand up his hair and combed it back. 

“We should go,” you suggested. “They are waiting for us.”

You ignored the driver’s eye on you and Bucky through the ride back to your hotel. His hand was wrapped around you, and his nose kept drifting to your neck, making you wiggle in your seat.

You were nervous, the most nervous you’d ever been in your life. Bucky was the closest you’d ever been with a man, and you were married now, you knew what was coming next. You didn’t have anyone who could tell you what to expect or what to prepare for, and you were almost panicking with that going on. 

“Come on,” he helped you out of the car.

Everyone was already waiting in the hotel restaurant. Some men from Bucky’s infantry, Steven and Agent Carter, Colonel Philips and even some of the people from the group you’d been working with; Your invitation was open for anyone who wanted to join you.

You shook hands, hearing congratulations and even receiving flowers before you could all sit down to eat. 

Bucky dominated the conversation, knowing when to bring you into the conversation or just answer for the two of you. Breakfast became brunch, then lunch, and you were only able to leave after arranging a later payment with the manager. 

When you stopped by your suite’s door, you got cold feet and became breathless. 

“Hey,” Bucky called, noticing your state. “Are you okay?”

You rubbed your hands down your skirt and tried giving him a smile. 

“Yes,” you finally answered. “Just nervous, I guess.”

James moved his hand to your face and caressed your cheek, moving closer to you and kissing your forehead. 

“It’ll be fine,” he assured you. “Do you trust me?”

You looked up to his eyes, remembering the moment he’d walked into your tent just half a year earlier and had managed to get close to you when no one in over a century had. 

“I do.”

He kissed your lips, using his free arm to pull you close to his body. 

“Let’s get inside, Omega.”


	23. XXIII

**Day 193**

  
You were shaking. Your hands and feet were cold, and your heart was racing inside your chest.

Yes. You were going to do this.

Goodness, a whole century of life hadn’t prepared you for this moment. You didn’t even know how or when to start.

“Hey,” Bucky whispered. “Come here.”

You two walked to the bed, standing beside it, and your husband stood up, kissing your lips and taking his hand to your blouse undoing it slowly. It was warm, and when it touched your skin, you couldn’t help but gasp in surprise.

“Bucky,” you muttered.

“Shh, Omega,” he kissed your neck gently. “Let me take care of you.”

You licked your lips, gasping when his teeth scraped your skin very gently. That was good, it felt good.

His right hand moved your hand and he brought you closer, moving to kiss your lips once again, and you took both your hands to his soft hair just as Bucky started pulling your blouse out of your skirt, undoing the buttons roughly.

“Wait,” you muttered.

Instantly, Bucky stopped, taking his hands away from you.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned. “Did I do anything wrong?”

You shook your head.

“No, no. Just… I should…”

_ No time like right now. _

You opened the buttons that were left and removed your top, feeling a shiver running climbing your back when Bucky breathed in deep and bit down a soft growl just as you threw it on the armchair close to you. You then took off your skirt, your face was absolutely on fire.

You couldn’t understand the fashion from this time, and while your clothes had adapted up to what you wore on your bottom, there was a habit you still kept from your time, which was wearing corsets. You never truly cared for it, but right now, standing in front of your husband, you just wondered what he would think. Did he think that made you look old-fashioned, like a woman old enough to be his grandmother or more?

“I know it’s not common for American girls to wear them, but we’re still dressing like this in Poland,” you affirmed. You weren’t sure if that was true or not, it was just something you used to justify yourself.

“You’re gorgeous,” he simply said.

With no other words, he pulled his jacket and undershirt top off, then his pants, and stood there only in his briefs, prompting you to battle with your own curiosity, culminating on you only having a glance of what was clearly a large print of something under his olive drab shorts. They were probably from the army, no doubt.

James stepped closer to you and kissed your lips very gently, moving his hands to your back, stopping and moving his face to look at you.

“How do I take that off?”

You felt your face heating up and moved your hands to your back. You undid the loop at the end of your back and started to lose up the strings on your back, but stopped when he interrupted you.

“Let me.”

Bucky moved to stand behind you, and you swallowed dry, trying to calm yourself down.

“Just loosen them up so I can open the clasps,” you whispered.

“Okay.”

He proceeded in silence, much more gently than what you did to yourself every night, and when the corset was loose around your figure, his hands softly moved along your sides and his lips met the back of your neck.

“Now the front?” he questioned in a whisper.

“Yeah,” you muttered out.

Bucky opened your clasps from bottom to top, and helped you pull it out from over your head, leaving you in the thin white – and transparent – linen you wore to protect your skin.

“Can I take that off too?”

You only nodded, not trusting yourself to talk, and rubbed your legs together when you realised you were damp between your legs.

The moment his fingers touched the skin of your lower stomach, you mewled, which seemed to make him more than happy. You closed your eyes and the linen was thrown away, leaving your chest naked to his eyes. Bucky circled your panting figure, and your legs trembled the moment you felt his fingertips brushing against your left nipple.

“You’re so gorgeous, Omega,” he licked his lips, and you just squeezed your eyes shut, taking your hands to the last piece of clothing covering your body and slipping it off, kicking it away with your foot.

Done. If he had anything to see, that was it.

You heard some movement and jumped when you felt Bucky’s hand on yours.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Open your eyes.”

You shook your head, completely aware that you were acting like a child but not giving a damn.

“I’m embarrassed,” you confessed.

He chuckled.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

You only felt your face hotter.

“I’m naked.”

“In front of your husband,” he pointed out and moved his hand up to caress your arm. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

You bit your lip.

“I do want to,” you affirmed. “I just don’t know what to do.”

His fingers caressed your cheek, and you could hear the smile on Bucky’s voice.

“I’ll take you step by step,” he promised. “You’ll tell me how you’re feeling or If I should go on or stop any time you need. Is that okay?”

You nodded slowly. That sounded like a good idea. You had been in worse situations, and this was supposed to be good, right? You could do that.

Finally, you opened your eyes and your husband was smiling at you.

“Can I kiss you now?”

You nodded and he moved close to you once again, taking your lips in his and pressing your bodies together just for you to realise he was fully undressed now, and the clear sign of his arousal was pressing against your lower belly.

The kiss became more passionate, more blinded by desire, and soon your husband’s hands were right on your back, feeling you, exploring your skin. His palms came to your buttocks, and he squeezed them, making you yelp and claw on his shoulder and neck, where your hands had been resting.

He guided you to the bed a few steps from you two easily, laying on top of you and gently spreading your legs just as his lips left your kiss to trail down your neck, licking and sniffing your scent gland.

“Can’t wait to mark you,” he whispered, and you bit your lower lip when his hand started to climb up your knee, caressing your thigh very softly and with every drop of bad intention.

His mouth trailed down to your shoulders, then to your collarbones and the middle of your chest. When you looked down to look at him, Bucky held your breasts in his hands, and moved his mouth right to one of them, kissing your nipple and making your gasp and shudder. He pulled away, pulling it with his teeth ever so lightly until it just fell from them, and looked up at you. 

“Yes?” he asked. His voice as deep and rough, making the dampness between your thighs only increase.

If he didn’t do something with it soon enough, you were sure you were going to implode.

“Yes,” you nodded, almost desperate.

Bucky smiled and went right back to what he had been doing just as his hand moved up your thigh and definitively – with no shadow of a doubt – moving it towards a goal. You couldn’t contain your moan when his fingertips brushed against your most intimate part, and Bucky bit you just a bit harder when you did so.

“Alpha,” you wiggled in your spot. “Please.”

When he looked up at your, your whole body trembled. There was no blue in his eyes any more, just dark and heavy desire.

“ _ My Omega,”  _ he squeezed you with the hand that wasn’t between your legs, and you closed your eyes, letting your jaw fall open when his finger found the very sensitive button above your entrance and circled it.

“Bucky,” you yelped.

He moved his finger down to your entrance, taking some of the wetness, and brought it right up to where it previously had been. Your legs closed around his hand involuntarily, but your husband gently opened them again and put himself between them, lowering his kisses to your stomach and belly button before stepping back.

“No…” you whined at the loss. “ _ Alpha… _ ”

He gave you a devilish smile.

“Need to prepare you,” your husband sat down between your opened legs. “Can’t have you hurting, Omega.”

You looked down at him and, for the first time, could really see what had been hiding under his clothes. 

Of course you had seen male genitalia before. You were a doctor. Medical school had had you examining bodies from both genders and shapes, and even though most of the people you used to see before being shipped off to help with the soldiers were women, you had seen a couple or so of men undressed in front of you. When you arrived at the camp, the situation you were all in gave no opportunity to shame or embarrassment to reach you, but right now things were very different. You had never observed a naked man – a naked  _ Alpha –  _ before, and this was your partner, your husband, and future mate.

He was aroused, that was an obvious thing, and looked just as much as an Alpha would look. When he sat down, his member bobbed a bit, and the top was already glistening with fluids.

You looked away, embarrassed once again, and jumped when one of his fingers started teasing your entrance.

“James…” you gasped.

“Don’t worry, doll,” he used his free hand to make little circles on your button, which was only increasing your wetness. “I’m gonna get you nice and ready.”

You licked your lips, watching him and shuddering a bit. There was a small sting when his finger first made it inside you, but it disappeared soon enough, and it wasn’t long until it was slowly moving in and out inside of you.

Your legs were trembling and your blood was pumping so hard you could feel it in your ears. The whole world was gone, and the only thing you could feel, smell, or think about was the Alpha with you.

He didn’t stop stroking you, and although his thumb wasn’t on your button any more, he was still opening you with his fingers. He waited until you weren’t shaking to stop, and sat closer to you, putting his hands on your hips and caressing your skin with his thumbs.

“Are you ready?” he asked, moving his hands to your stomach, making circles to calm you down.

You took a deep breath. There was no use in avoiding the inevitable.

“Yes,” you nodded. “Please.”

He took one of his hands, holding his member and moving it to your lower lips. You felt it moving up and down, coating it in your wetness and finally pressing it inside you.

You swallowed down when you felt the pressure of his member coming in, and held your breath when you felt his hips fully against you, which meant he was completely in. His member was stretching you inside, stinging and —

Well. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good but wasn’t as bad as the tales made you think. It hurt but it wasn’t a stab.

Your husband returned to caressing your skin. After a few moments, he pulled away, making you hiss in discomfort, and you put a hand over his.

“Give me another minute,” you asked. “I’m not completely okay yet.”

He didn’t protest and moved his hand opting to caress your breast, circling your nipple and making you sigh and try to move your own hips. When the movement didn’t burn as much as the previous one, you looked down at him. 

“You can move now.”

Bucky’s eyed you, concerned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He moved slowly, pulling his hips back and forth and getting his thumb right back onto your button, circling it along with his strokes. It wasn’t long until he moved to lay on top of you, with your legs wrapped around his waist. The pleasure was practically blurring your vision, and Bucky seemed very appreciative of the noises leaving your lips that though short and low, were a clear sign of how you felt now.

“You’re so beautiful,” he moaned into your neck. “My beautiful Omega.”

“Alpha,” you spread your legs a bit more, tangling your fingers through his hair and keeping him close.

You were reaching the edge again, and this time, he was clearly close too.

“Gonna mate you,” he growled into your ear. “Do you want that?”

You whined.

“Please,  _ Alpha _ .”

His hips hit you harder and in a more erratic rhythm, and his thumb never ceased to caress you.

“Don’t stop,” you whined. “ _ Please _ .”

“Not gonna,” he panted, clearly putting a strong effort into it. “Fuck, Omega… Wanna have your mark on me.”

You opened your eyes wide and pulled his face from your neck.

“Are you sure?”

Bucky stared into your eyes.

“Couldn’t be more sure,” he assured you. “Mark me.”

He moved his neck to the side, exposing his scent gland to you, and you didn’t hesitate to sink your teeth there, hard enough to break the skin. James let out a deep strong moan that drove you right over the edge.

Apparently, that was all it took for your Alpha to give in. He moved a hand to your hips and started to thrust into you hard enough that the bed hit the wall, and his grip left a mark on you. His free hand moved to your hair, grabbing it and pulling it so your neck would be exposed.

Your whole world disappeared when he sunk his teeth into your skin, and the moment his knot formed inside you, you let out a loud gasp. Yes. That was it. That was what life was supposed to be.

Your Alpha licked the wound gently, holding you and kissing the way up your chin and lips.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away from you caressing your face gently.

“You good?” he asked.

You took a long breath. You actually were, you were feeling quite good.

“Yes,” you nodded. “I am.”

He smiled and helped you turn around to lay on top of him, which actually felt much more comfortable for you.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

“Not for that.”

You moved back slowly, sitting on his lap and putting your hands on his stomach, suddenly not caring for your nakedness.

“I love seeing you smile,” he declared, moving his hands up and down your thighs.

You chuckled. You were smiling, you didn’t even realise.

“You always say that.”

“I always think that,” he shrugged.

He took your hands in his, and you took a deep breath.

“Is it always going to be like this?”

Your husband raised his eyebrows.

“It takes a while to deflate,” he told you. “You’re doctor, you…”

“No,” you interrupted him and laughed. “I mean… Like… This.”

You gestured to yourself and him, and your husband just continued to frown, until realisation hit his face, turning his frown into a smile.

“I intend to, yes,” he confirmed. “Although the mating part only happens once.”

You sighed and look at your hands.

“I love you,” he declared. “A lot.”

“I love you too.”

You liked this. It was good. You could get used to it. 


	24. XXIV

Day 195

  
“You are very special, aren’t you?” you heard, turning around and finding Bucky sat on your bed. He was as naked as the day he was born, a seemingly eternal state since you consummated your marriage just two days ago.

You had been given the day following the wedding free to spend with one another. But just as your soreness was passing as your marks settled on your necks, you had to go into work once again.

You had officially been assigned to join Steve and his team, which meant you needed to be trained and in the right physical state to take on the responsibility. So, Steve would spar with you in the nights so you could both see how strong you actually were and how alike you might be. In the afternoon for at least one hour, Agent Carter would teach you how to shoot just as well, and maybe that was the part you were the most hesitant about. You didn’t think you had a good aim.

“Special?” you raised an eyebrow to your husband, putting on your earring.

“We are the one exception for the ‘no mating’ rule,” he pointed out. “You’re a girl and went to medical school. Not just nurse school, the real thing. You’re like a master key to things in life.”

You chuckled.

“You only mentioned two things.”

“Well,” he turned fully to you. “You’re being trained to go on missions with us, something I completely and absolutely do not approve of. I’m just wondering why.”

You closed the clasps of your corset and moved your hands to the strings.

“I have privileges because of what I am and the money I have,” you gave the middle a stronger pull, glancing at the mirror to see if it had worked. “I know that and they know that too. No one contests me because they know I’ll win.”

He nodded slowly, surprised.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

You stopped and thought about it for a short moment. He didn’t know many things about you and weren’t really sure he could understand some of them.

“I was actually born in Austria,” you told him. “My father moved to Krakow to protect our family from danger.”

He gave you a surprised look.

“So you’re Austrian?”

“No,” you denied. “I’m Polish. Poland wasn’t Poland when I was born, it is complicated.”

Bucky nodded slowly.

“Okay.”

He stood up just as soon as you were done, and pulled you into a kiss.

“How do you survive in that?” he questioned.

“I’m used to it,” you put your hand on his chest. “I’ve been wearing it for…” you stopped yourself.

Over a century, you were going to say.

“My whole life,” you decided. “I don’t even know if that’s where my ribs first sat.”

Bucky chuckled and moved his hand upwards.

“I do see what it does up here,” he noted, running his fingertips over the top of your breasts. “I can’t say I don’t like it.”

You felt your cheeks hot and he kissed them gently.

“I wanted to be an engineer growing up,” he told you, putting his face on the crook of your neck. “Build things and see people amazed by them. But I could never afford school and now here we are.”

He turned you to the mirror and you watched the image in front of you for a moment. Your Alpha holding you like you were the most precious being he’d come into his life and it made your heart swell in happiness.

“We can do it now,” you suggested. “You can go to school and do what you like. I have a friend who works with the stuff, he can help you get into a nice school and make the right contacts.”

Bucky kissed your cheek gently.

“Okay.”

You covered the hand he had around you with yours.

“Now, go clean up,” you instructed him. “We have to go.”


	25. XXV

**Day 195**

Your forearm was all bloody and your muscles felt like they were on fire. How could men do that so frequently? Why did they seek it out for such frivolous reasons?

“Are you okay?” Steve helped you stand on your feet once again after  _ he _ had thrown you across the arena. “Sorry, I’m still learning how to control it.”

“Yes,” you curled on your stomach discreetly. “Just… Help me relocate one of my ribs.”

His eyes widened, searching your eyes for any trace of a joke and finding seriousness on it. 

“How do you know?” he asked reaching for your side, and you grimaced. 

“Higher,” you hissed. “Once I was younger I had an accident where I broke half of my bones. That and medical school teaches you a lot.”

His fingers landed on the edge of the rib his kick had broken just a couple of minutes earlier and you groaned in pain, reaching for his hand and angling it right before pressing your rib back into place, making you curse right out.

“Hold it in place, give me a minute.”

You tried to hold back another painful sound and he retreated his hand, just for you to hold him back. 

“No, I still need 40 seconds,” you insisted between your teeth, knowing from experience that it would take some time to fit back together. You’d broken your ribs more than once, but you wouldn’t just tell him that.

Steve waited silently until you released his fingers, trusting your own bone to hold itself in place while it fully healed.

“I think we should wrap up for now. I’ll see you at night?”

You confirmed with a nod. Your schedule with Steve had changed, and you’d now also train with him in some mornings, although you weren’t sure who that was supposed to benefit.

“Tired?” Steve questioned, offering you an ice pack, and you were unsure of where to place it. He had hit your thigh quite badly, you were in pain from your ribs, and his elbow had hit you right on the cheek. 

You raised the pack to your face, deciding it actually had a higher priority. 

“Not really,” you confessed. 

“Give your cheek five minutes,” he tossed a towel over his shoulder. “It’ll disappear quickly enough.”

“Is it like that every time?” you couldn’t help asking. 

You glanced at the door, where your husband had just come in.

“From my short experience, no,” he tapped his forehead, drying it from sweat. “Deeper cuts will heal in more than a day, bullets can cut your skin, it’s good I had the shield with me that day.”

“Bullets?” Bucky repeated in disbelief. 

“They are a possibility,” you reminded your husband. 

“Their soldiers are very well trained,” Steve affirmed. “They’ll know which movements to make, which places to attack you and how to kill you faster.”

You breathed in deeply.  _ That was comforting _ . 

Your husband growled and touched your face, gently ghosting his fingers over your cheek. 

“Omega…” he hissed. “Punk, you said you’d go easy on her!”

Bucky moved so quickly you barely noticed and was already standing in front of you in a shield-like way, ready to jump on Steve, who didn’t see very surprised.

“I did,” he affirmed. “Your wife dislocated my jaw with a single bare hand.”

Bucky turned to you with a surprised face. 

“You did?”

“I have the strength,” you pointed out, a bit proud of yourself but shy just as well.“All I lack is the technique, which I’m learning.”

He stared at you with raised eyebrows before looking down and inspecting your arm and hands, along with your knuckles. 

“Doll, I still don’t agree with you putting yourself at such a risk.”

You squeezed his hands.

“I know,” you kissed his palm. “And you know that I’m not asking your permission.”

Your husband offered you a small smile and kissed the tip of your nose.

“It wouldn’t be you if you were,” he noted and chuckled. “Got myself a tough Omega.”

You felt your cheeks warming up in embarrassment, and checked your side just to find Steve looking away from you two.

“I have to go,” you reached for his hands. “Carter is waiting for me and I’m filthy.”

The smile spread on his face disappeared, and your Alpha sighed. 

“Just try not to get shot, will you?” he whispered. 

“I’ll try.”


	26. XXVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

**Day 201**

“You’re getting better,” Carter removed her protective gear, approaching you. “Your only problem is your aim, but considering when you started, you’re quick.”

You put your shotgun down and fixed your posture, breathing in and taking off your own gear.

“I’d still manage to kill whoever it was, though,” you noted.

She smirked.

“You would, of course. Doesn’t mean you’d do it fast enough.”

“How many guns do you carry around with you?” you questioned, watching her get a weapon.

“That depends on what I’m doing on the day.”

You just raised your eyebrows.

“On average.”

Carter put the Winchester M1897 in front of you.

“Go.”

You pulled the pieces out one by one, taking things apart quietly and laying it methodically in front of the two of you.

“Purse, skirt, legs and sometimes boots,” she pointed. “And a knife on my free calf or thigh.”

You looked at her from head to toe, the details of the hidden weapons creasing her clothes.

“Put it back together,” she instructed. “I like your timing.”

You complied in silence, feeling her eyes on your actions.

“I read your file,” she spoke and you tensed up.

The only way the government had allowed you to roam the country as freely as you were, was that they had full knowledge and access of who and what you were, which meant anyone with clearance high enough could see your archives.

“How old were you when you stopped ageing?”

“I’d say,” finished up the gun. “Old enough to have lost the remaining baby fat my brothers enjoyed squeezing so much.”

She chuckled.

“I’m sure it was just brotherly love,” Carter affirmed. “It must be hard being the only one left.”

You sighed. You knew she’d say that.

“I watched them go one by one,” you affirmed. “First my father, then my mother. My oldest brother and each sibling after that. Their children… I lost count of my losses, honestly.”

She fell into silence, which you did along with her, and it was only interrupted when Carter cleared her throat.

“Do you know why you’re…” she looked for words. “Well, I’m not sure of what you are.”

Honestly, you didn’t either.

The shotgun you were holding was left behind and you stood straighter. You’d heard that story many times in life and was actually responsible for passing it on correctly.

“Back before I was born, a bit less than a year, my mother was very sick. She couldn’t leave her bed and everyone said she would die,” you told her. “My father was terrified. And one day he found stones. Six of them.”

Slowly, she moved to your side.

“Stones?”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “One of each colour. Blue, yellow, red, purple, green and orange. He put it right beside their bed. A few days later she was cured. Like magic.”

When you looked at her, she gave you a curious and surprised look, so you just continued.

“Months later she found out she was pregnant,” you told her. “At that time, I think my brother was already married or when that happened, she was over the common reproductive years.”

Carten nodded slowly.

“They say I was the most active of all of their children growing up,” you smiled, remembering how they would tell you those stories.

“What happened to the stones?”

“We don’t know,” you affirmed. “One day they simply disappeared and we couldn't find them ever again.”

Carter nodded in confirmation and you crossed your arms.

There was something your mind recently that you had yet to tell someone but felt like Carter should know.

“I think they have ahold of one of them,” you crossed your arms. “HYDRA.”

“Why?”

You moved a bit uncomfortably. Maybe this was insane? You couldn’t quite be sure.

“I just do,” you repeated. “It’s like it’s calling me from their hands. Like it needs to be rescued.”

Another silence settled between you and Carter looked for your eyes, staring at them where you focused your gaze on her.

“Is that why you want to go with the unit?”

You took a breath and looked at the gun in front of you.

“Yes,” you confirmed. “There’s something waiting for me there. I know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	27. XXVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

**Day 201**

“Doctor Klaczko, this is Howard Stark,” Peggy introduced the two of you, stopping in front of the man you knew well enough to never need another introduction in a million years. “Howard, this is doctor…” 

“Y/N Alexandrina Klaczko,” he interrupted her. “So this is where you’ve been!”

You had met Howard Stark at the start of the soldier project and he was quite the character, to say the least. 

“Barnes,” you added. 

He frowned and you let yourself give him the tiniest of the smiles. 

“Klaczko Barnes.”

Stark raised his eyebrows, completely surprised. 

“Wasn’t it you who said you weren’t at all interested in a relationship?” he questioned. 

“I wasn’t,” you answered simply. “And then I was.”

He chuckled, then offered you his hand to shake. 

“Congratulations, then, Doctor Klaczko Barnes,” he smiled. “Do I get to meet the lucky…”

You raised your eyebrows. 

“Beta?” he suggested. “I’m sorry, you do not strike me as an Omega who’d go for an Alpha.”

You continued to stare at him through his explanation, knowing very well he meant it in a different order. He didn’t think an  _ Alpha  _ would accept an Omega like you. 

Howard was a Beta who acted like an Alpha enough that it was annoying, but he wasn’t a bad person. 

You were ready to answer but closed your mouth when a hand touched your back. 

“Doll?” your husband, your  _ Alpha _ , said slowly. 

You felt a tension and a breath you didn’t even know you were holding leave your body, and Howard stood in a curious position. 

“Darling, this is Howard Stark,” you leant a bit onto your husband. “Stark, this is my husband and mate, Sergeant James Barnes.”

The two shook hands and your mate slowly moved to your side before taking a small step forward, almost shielding you from Stark. 

“Howard worked with me earlier in the super soldier project,” you explained. “He’s very intelligent. He’s the friend I told you about, do you remember?”

The man in front of you gave a small smile.

“You talk about me?” he questioned, clearly cocky. 

“James wants to study after the war is over,” you said proudly. “He’s very interested in science.”

That made him smile openly. 

“Well, I’m right here to help you all of the way through it. It’ll be my pleasure.”

You looked at Bucky, then back at Stark. 

“So,” you changed the subject. “Someone said you’re the one responsible for our uniforms.”

* * *

**Day 210**

“Go ahead,” you opened your arms. “Touch it.”

Peggy raised an eyebrow at you in response, but reached with her hands and touched your waist, looking down before up at you. 

“Doesn’t feel comfortable to me,” she suggested. “At all.”

You were wearing a corset specially adapted for fighting. After having received clearance to follow fighting with the Howling Commandos, and with Bucky’s nagging insistence, you and Howard had sat down and redesigned something that you could wear that would increase your protection from attacks beyond just what he had done for the group as a whole. 

“You’d be surprised,” you shrugged. “It’s partially bulletproof. Not completely, but it will stop most of it.”

“Do you feel prepared?”

You stopped. You’d spent your last ten days training hard with the team around you to become the best fighter possible and you were out to test it now. 

“I was given clearance,” you answered, simply. 

“I didn’t ask you that,” Peggy pointed out. 

You took in a deep breath. You were a doctor. You were supposed to help people, take care of them… Heal them. But now, you were out to fight, and kill. 

“I know what I’m doing,” you affirmed. “And I feel this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I really think I’m supposed to be this. Something is out there calling for me.”

Steve crossed the space in front of you and you gave Peggy an educated nod and a small smile before walking to Bucky’s side, and the team patted you on the shoulder in a welcoming way. 

“Ready, doc?” Dum Dum asked.

You held your shotgun close and stood straight. Inside you, a small part of you that had been suppressing for decades - over a century - the Omega in you, the human in you, was shaking and afraid. You wanted to hide behind Bucky and beg for your Alpha’s protection, and maybe he was feeling it in your smell because his hand came to hold yours tightly. 

“Ready,” you confirmed. 

It was time to go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	28. XXVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

**Day 213**

You ducked Steve’s shield as it came back to his hand, using the momentum to pull a man down to his feet and kick his gun away from his hands, punching his face and frowning your nose in disgust when your fist made a hole through his face and hit the floor under him. 

“Wow!” Falsworth exclaimed, and you turned to him. “What was that?”

“Uh…” you hesitated. “I did know I could do that.”

“Barnes!” he called with a shout. 

“Yeah?” your husband shouted before shooting one of the Hydra men. 

“How do I find an Omega like yours?” 

You laughed, and your Alpha turned to look at you two, clearly puffing his chest while smiling. 

“I’m almost sure she’s a really rare one,” he grinned. “But you can start by going to Poland.”

You laughed but were quick to focus right back on the fight. 

When you finally came back to report your progress and met the rest of the team in London that very same night, you were just hoping you’d get a bed and sleep for real in a place that wasn’t the floor. 

You had just closed the door of your hotel room when Bucky pushed you against the wall and moved his hand to unwrap your clothes. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he held you tightly. “Seeing you fight those dudes, you just looked too sexy.”

You felt your cheeks warming up but didn’t even have time to act embarrassed, as he was already pulling your uniform off of your body with passion and near desperation. 

He pushed your pants down and dragged you to bed, laying you down without any ceremony and pulling your underwear right off of your legs. 

“I need to…” you tried to point out, but your Alpha interrupted you, spreading your legs and exposing your nakedness to his hungry eyes. 

“I don’t care.”

A shiver ran all over your body and you closed your eyes when he stuck out his tongue, licking a long sinful stripe over your folds and rose his head to look at your face. 

“Well?” your husband questioned with a glim in his eyes. “Do you want me to do it again?”

You panted. 

“Please.”

**Day 214**

Bucky kissed the back of your neck softly, skimming his hands to the middle of your body teasingly. 

“We’re going to be late,” you reminded him. “Tie me up.”

You could hear him chuckle, and you stood straighter when your husband first pulled the strings of the corset you kept around yourself.

“You know,” he gave them a strong pull. “I’m starting to like this thing on you. It’s quite thick, it protects you quite well from cuts and shots.”

You just lowered your head, breathing in while he finished tying an easy knot in there before you slipped out of his grasp, fixing the shirt you wore underneath your corset before putting on your gear. 

Suddenly something hit you and you stopped, turning to watch your husband comb his hair in the mirror. 

“Alpha,” you whispered, and he stared at you through the glass. 

“Yes?”

You walked to him and hugged him from the back, making Bucky look at you with a confused smile. 

“Sorry, I just…” you hesitated and covered your face with one of your hands. “It’s stupid.”

You moved away and he held your wrist, stopping you from walking away from him. 

“Tell me,” he instructed.

You shook your head. 

“It’s nothing.”

“ _ Omega _ ,” he said again, this time clearly using his Alpha voice. “Tell me.”

You felt a shiver over your body and the Omega side of you - the one that only submitted to  _ him  _ and  _ no one else _ .

“I was just thinking,” you muttered.

“About what?” he questioned, stepping closer to you and tangling his fingers in yours. 

You looked up his eyes, staring at the striking and piercing blue you had fallen in love with. 

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” you declared. “Sometimes I’m just afraid this will be over like everything else in my life.”

Bucky’s shoulders dropped, and he cupped your face with his free hand. 

“Y/N…”

“I know,” you interrupted him. “But I’ve never loved someone the way I love you in my whole life. And I’ve lived a long life.”

He just smiled, and you suddenly realised how unaware he was. You really needed to tell him the truth.

“I love you too,” he moved his hand closer to him and kissed its back. “Don’t worry. We will be just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	29. XXIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

Day 218

“I never thought this would be how I would show you the country I grew up in,” you said to Bucky, looking around. 

The place around you was pitch black, or at least that was what the rest of the boys reported in without their night goggles, but you were pleasantly surprised to know that the darkness wasn’t as deep as you had first imagined, but maybe it was just your eyes. 

You were in the Austrian Alps, hiding at night and waiting for the time Zolan’s train would be the closest to you, right in the bring of the morning. 

“I thought you were Polish,” Gabe said, looking at you with curiosity. 

Your group was all together, sitting around and eating, covered in more pieces of clothing each than what you normally wore all together in a different situation, and Dum Dum was up, guarding you and waiting for his shift to end to be replaced by Falsworth.

“She was born in Warsaw, then moved to Vienna,” your husband explained.

“I spent most of my childhood here in Austria,” you said to the team. “Moved up there when I was three and lived in Vienna until I was 20. Then I went to live in Krakow.” 

That made Dernier look at you with curiosity. 

“Why Krakow and not Warsaw?” he asked. 

You exchanged a look with Steve. It wasn’t like they didn’t know you weren’t like the average person.

“My… Abilities,” you chose your wording carefully. “They came to attention in Vienna, so my father thought it would be in the family’s best interests to... How do you American’s say it?” you stopped yourself, looking for words. 

“Lay low?” Bucky suggested. 

“Yes. He decided we should lay low in Krakow,” you repeated. “So I lived there for a bit, and… The whole family tragedy stroke.”

Bucky reached out and held your hand, squeezing it gently in a comforting way.

“And I moved to America with my uncle Jakub,” you added. “He was the one who managed to put me through medical school along with my cousin, Abraam.” 

The boys nodded slowly. 

“So that’s how you escaped the invasion,” Gabe noted. 

“Yes,” you confirmed. 

You sighed. Many of your family members - descendants from your brothers and sister who decided to stay behind - were still in Poland and Austria, and while some of them had managed to escape to neutral countries, you knew some had been arrested by the Nazis and stripped from their possessions and taken to camps. It was brutal. 

“Sorry about all that,” Gabe muttered. 

“Thanks,” you offered him a smile. “Let’s all go rest, we have to be up before the sun, come on.”

Day 219

The mountains were a bit warmer in the morning than in the night, but nothing much, and you dreaded the moment you had to leave you blanket aside and get ready for your mission. 

Once, before you moved your family from Vienna and back to Krakow, you got lost in a very cold winter night. You could still remember the feeling of your bones almost freezing but your body fighting. Today reminded you of that day. 

“The train,” Dernier called your attention. “Come on.”

Zola’s train was just coming to your vision now, and your mission was to give an ending to whatever he was doing. How you were getting there?

… Ziplining.

You and Gabe were supposed to stay outside the train and give Steve and Bucky backup while you were just showing your most reassuring face to your husband, you truly felt your most insecure right now. It was almost like a force or something external was telling you something was off.

“Hey, doc,” Jones called after a couple of minutes of silence. You’ good over there? Looking a little…”

He couldn’t complete it. Time felt like it slowed down for you. The side of the trains exploded open and the force, along with wind, sent you sliding right down in a miles-long fall. He grabbed you quickly, and you dug your fingers into the metal to climb back onto the top. 

There was no time to ask if you were okay, as you already used the time to break through the metal when you noticed the weak point in it. 

The small man jumped in a surprise when he was caught. 

Arnim Zola was a small man with glasses and a little hair, and you had to confess, he looked way less threatening than you had previously imagined. He was completely defenceless, his wagon had no escape.

“Are we cuffing him?” you questioned, reaching behind yourself to take your handcuffs. 

“It’s a good idea,” Gabe shrugged.

You stepped into the man’s personal space and pulled him, roughly, cuffing his wrists together behind his back. You froze in your spot, though, when your eyes caught the footage in front of you. Bucky was hanging from the side of the broken train, and Steve was trying to reach for him. 

You left the three men behind and strode into the wagon the two were in, just to find Steve trying to climb back and froze at your place. 

You felt your knees buckling, and the only reason you didn’t was that Steve was right there to catch you. 

He fell. 

You tried to process what was happening, but it all seemed too much. The Omega inside of you was screaming, shaking and suddenly terrified.

_Alpha._

_Alpha._

_Alpha._

_Alpha fell._

_Alpha’s gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	30. XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

**Night of the day 219**

The silence between your group was painful while you made your way to London. No one wanted to say anything, and you knew they didn’t want to set you off. 

You didn’t cry, didn’t scream, or even manifested more than a brief moment shock when approaching your group or after it. You didn’t talk to anyone and just stared at the small man in front of you. It was his fault. It was all his fault, and as soon as you were free to do it, you’d kill him with your own hands and would make sure to do it slowly and painfully. 

Zola’s eyes widened and you felt the whole group staring at you, and Steve touched your elbow gently, making you look down at yourself. A white energy was surrounding you, like liquid smoke and light, and you gritted your teeth. No one said anything, but the doctor just continued to stare at you. 

When you arrived at the base, all eyes turned to your group, and you knew they were already aware of the loss. You could see and feel the pity coming from their eyes and the whispers of ‘widowed omega’ behind your back.

Your head ached and you rushed into an empty room, letting out a scream, and covered your face, finally breaking down, hard and uncontrollably. It felt like you were getting destroyed from inside out, and the tears came out as strong like a waterfall. Your whole body felt like it was about to break into various pieces.

Someone’s hand rested on your back, and you just then noticed you were not alone. Still, you kept sobbing and hugged yourself when they moved away. 

“You… You can’t go after her, captain,” you heard a man’s voice. “It’s a… Jew thing, I think. But she has to talk to you before you talk to her.”

“Fuck the rules,” you managed to sob. “I don’t care about stupid mourning rules. My husband is dead.”

The pair of arms that surrounded you were soft and assuring, and you needed only a small breath to identify Peggy’s perfume. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

It may have taken you minutes to calm down, it may have taken you minutes, but she never let you go. When you were finally done crying - with your throat too used to say any words and chest too heavy to even form them in the first place, she walked you to her car and drove you to your hotel without a single word. 

“I’ll come around in the morning,” she told you. “Try to have a good night of sleep.”

**Year -75 (1945)**

The first time you experienced loss, it was when your younger brother Dawid died. He was just five and had caught cholera from the neighbours’ boy. You were instantly distanced from him, and didn’t have to participate in any of the rituals, nor did your brothers Joachim and Jakub, because of your ages. Still, you watched them hurt and grieve, and how your mother looked miserable over the loss of her youngest child. 

The next time someone died it was your father. He was 60, quite old for the times, and you had gone through the whole process of grieving him, both personally and religiously. He was an amazing father, and you missed him quite much to this day. Bereavement for your culture was always a long process, with stages that permitted you to process what was happening with you and around you without feeling pressured from the outside, but that was the first time you had experienced it first hand. 

The third time, you lost your mother. And then your brothers. First Antoni, the one who’d taken you and passed you as his daughter. Daniel came in the year before, and the twins, Joachim and Jakub in the year after that - so close together that you wondered if it wasn’t the loss of one that caused the death of the other. You saw your sister Hanna die in 1878, and after her, you were too numb for a while to count your losses. You were almost 60 years old and didn’t look a day over 20, calling people you saw coming to the world ‘father’ and ‘uncle’ to keep your identity safe, knowing you’d see them die just like the two generations you’ve attended from life to death. Your money, some of the houses and family heirlooms memories you owned came from some of them, and you were there to see them coming into the world, but still, their deaths meant less and less.

Your mother would be ashamed of you. 

And then Bucky came along, and when you finally thought that this could be it, that you could love someone and not fear you were going to lose them because now science could make him just like you… You lost him. Not just once, as a platonic lover, but now twice and as his Omega, his _wife._ You’d lost your husband!

If only you had told him about the true extent of your abilities, he would have become just like you and he could have survived the fall. 

But you hadn’t, and there was no way a normal human could survive falling from that train in such a speed and from such a long fall. He was gone and there was nothing you could do. 

“I understand that you have a mourning period to go through,” Peggy said once you two sat down at the hotel restaurant. “And…” 

“It’s not necessary,” you interrupted her. “Bucky wasn’t Jewish and I can’t remember the last time I did something close to the average behaviour of a Jewish woman. I’ll grieve when I have the time to grieve. There’s work to be done, a war to be won.”

She watched you in silence and reached for your hand, holding it over the table. 

“You have a friend in me, Y/N,” she declared. “I hope you know that. We might only know each other for a short period of time, but we’re friends.”

You looked at her face, unable to smile, but squeezed her hand. 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	31. XXXI

Year -75 (1945)

Everyone turned their heads to your direction, staring at you and Peggy as you entered the headquarters, falling into deep silence and offering you sad and pitying looks.

You were barely ten steps in when Howard put himself in your way.

“Y/N, I am so sorry about what happened,” he affirmed, quickly moving close to you. “I just heard of it. I would like to offer you my condolences and full support. I’m here for whatever you need.”

You just stared at him for a moment, surprised, and blinked the tears that had formed in your eyes, maintaining a calm look on your face.

“Thank you, Howard,” you answered.

“I’m here if you need me. I can get you in a plane to visit your family or get anyone here if you need help and company. I heard you shouldn’t clean and cook at this time so… Do you want me to hire someone? I can do that.”

You froze for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“I’m staying in a hotel,” you explained. “There’s no need. And I shouldn’t be working or leaving my room or even looking at mirrors, but I’m here.”

Your friend reached out and touched your hand.

“Yes, you are,” he muttered. “But you don’t have to.”

You knew that. You hadn’t slept at night. You hadn’t even laid down, honestly, because the bed smelt like Bucky  _ too much _ and you couldn’t face that. So you just sat on one of the luxurious sofas and watched the sun come up. You cried, then stopped and cried again, not knowing what  _ to do.  _ You ordered food in the middle of the night – traditional Jewish, Polish, and even Austrian food, food that was supposed to comfort you or at least get you to think of something else – but it ended up just sitting in front of you for hours until you decided to just call someone up and tell them to pack it up and give to people in need.

It was very early when you showered and dressed up, stopping frozen on your spot when you realise that you hadn’t laced your own corset since your first week of marriage, when Bucky had asked you to teach him how it was done. You broke down all over again before finally pulling yourself together and getting ready. You weren’t a mess when you met Peggy, but you weren’t your best self either, and you knew that. Your chest was heavy, your head was pounding, and your muscles were aching from crying, but it wasn’t like you to just stay behind and grieve. You wanted to move, you had to keep moving. If you stopped… You couldn’t think of what would happen to you, if you stopped.

“Thank you, Howard,” you repeated. “I’ll let you know. Right now I just want to finish what we started.”

He confirmed with a nod and you stood up straighter.

“Where’s Zola?” you asked.

He fell silent and you turned to see Peggy giving you a worried look.

“Y/N,” she spoke slowly. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Well, I do,” you replied. “Where is he?”

* * *

You crossed your arms in front of the two-way mirror, seeing the old man you’d spent the night cursing away, sat facing Colonel Phillips.

He was smaller than you remembered him. Did that make sense? You’d seen him just yesterday and your memory was already tainted. Somehow, your mind had crafted a larger presence, but he was weak and even if you didn’t have gifts, you’d be able to take him with your own hands easily.

“… The last guy you cost us was Captain Rogers’ closest friend,” Phillips noted. “And his wife isn’t one to played with either.”

You felt anger bubbling in the pit of your gut once again, and turned when you felt a hand landing over yours for a brief moment, sensing Peggy’s worry and knowing that she’d be removing you from the room if you gave any sign of losing control.

“He’s recruiting him,” you hissed, realising what was happening. “He killed Bucky, he crafted weapons to destroy your country, and he’s recruiting him?”

Peggy pressed her lips together.

“I’m not happier than you,” she pointed. “I’m sorry.”

You breathed in deep.

“I have to go,” she whispered. “I’m going to trust you not to get yourself in trouble.”

You ignored her suggestion and stood in silence, watching as the two men talked. It took over two hours, but Colonel Philips finally stood and left Zola alone. You let your ears pick up on his steps, waiting until he was far enough away, and left the room, turning to your left and eyeing the two soldiers guarding the door from head to toe.

“Open the door,” you instructed.

They exchanged glances.

“Doctor, I don’t believe...”

“Open the door,” you interrupted them. “If I wanted to kill him I would have done it the moment I had him in my custody. I want to go in.”

They hesitated, but one of them – the one at the left, his last name was Serrano – finally complied, and you stepped into the room quietly, although catching his attention anyway.

“I see you got lucky,” you looked around the room, seeing a half-eaten dinner in front of him. “Not hungry, doctor?”

He stared at you for a moment and lowered his head.

“No, not much,” he answered, his accent coming out thick and heavy. “You’d be…”

You walked to the food silently, and moved the food slowly over the plate, and picked up a broccoli. If it was poisoned, it wouldn’t affect you.

“Klaczko,” you answered after swallowing the vegetable down. It wasn’t bad. “Doctor Klaczko-Barnes.”

His eyes changed in understanding.

“The wife, I suppose?”

You nodded slowly and paced around a bit more, walking to him and slowly circling his body, almost prey-like.

“I have to say, you look different from what I remembered,” you noted. “But it was a long day, after all. Sometimes, your memory gets tainted, anyway. It’s normal.”

He breathed in deep, clearly uncomfortable, and you smirked briefly at his clear fear.

“I...” he stuttered. “I would like to offer you my condolences,” he decided. “For your husband’s death.”

You scowled and held back a  _ growl _ . Of course he did.

“If it takes the guilt from your shoulders, sure. Go ahead,” you shrugged. “So… Do you know where Captain Rogers’ strength comes from?”

He hesitated but adjusted his posture.

“It’s from me,” you answered before he could say anything. “His abilities come from me, I mean. I killed one of your men with a single punch.”

He swallowed down and you stopped in front of him.

“I don’t know what was offered to you,” you said slowly. “But I have… Well, not an offer, but a little information for you.”

He stared at you with his eyes wide behind his glasses.

“Information?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

You reached out for his glasses and held them in front of your eyes, dismissively checking how bad his vision was.

_ "Magst du die Art wie ich aussehe?" _ you questioned.

(Do you like the way I look?)

He froze at the sudden language change, frowning right after and raising his head to meet your face. He was about half a head shorter than you.

_ "Wie bitte?" _

(Beg your pardon?)

_ "Bin ich hübsch?" _

(Am I pretty?)

Zola swallowed down.

_ "Ich bin mir nicht sicher was du meinst" _

(I’m not sure of what you mean.)

You rolled your eyes.

_ "Schau mich an. Bin ich hübsch?" _

(Look at me. Am I pretty?)

Once again, he swallowed down hard.

_ "Ja."  _ he answered. “ _ Du bist eine wunderschöne junge dame” _

(Yes. You’re a beautiful young lady.)

You nodded slowly.

“ _ Also magst du mein Gesicht _ ,” you noted. “ _ Ich habe ein wunderschönes Gesicht. Es ist angenehm es anzuschauen. _ ”

(So you like my face. I have a beautiful face. It’s pleasant to look at.)

He nodded hesitantly.

“ _ Denkst du das mein Gesicht eine schöne letzte Vision für jemanden sei? _ ” you questioned.  _ "Das letzte was du siehst bevor du stirbst, oder?" _

(Do you think that my face would be a good last vision for someone? The last thing you see before you die, you know?)

His face went pale and you smirked to yourself.

_ ”Ja?” _ you asked, although not expecting an answer back. _ “Ich gehe davon aus.” _

(Yes? I suppose so.)

You gave his glasses back.

_ “Merke dir mein Gesicht Doktor,” _ you instructed him. “ _ Wenn du frei bist, wenn Sie dir ein neues Leben geben und ein neues Haus und ein neuen Job....Merk dir mein Gesicht. Weil es das letzte sein wird das du sehen wirst bevor ich dich umbring.” _

(Memorise my face doctor. When you’re free, when they give you a new life and a new house and a job… Remember my face. Because it will be the last one you will see before I kill you.)

You stepped away from him and stopped in your tracks, biting down hard before going to him again and driving a punch to his jaw, hard enough for it to cause damage, but nothing close to what you could really do.

You heard the sound of pain coming from his mouth just after the bone-cracking sound reached your ears, and he stumbled back, supporting himself on the table behind himself.

“You should have eaten the steak,” you noted. “I don’t think you’ll be able to chew for a while now.”


	32. XXXII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

Year -75 (1945)

There was no need to exchange words with Steve while you held onto his shoulder with your non-dominant so hard that in any other circumstance you’d be questioning him if you were hurting his skin. Right now, you had your side pressed against the shield hanging on his back and your free arm aiming directly at the men storming after the two of you. 

_ There’s nothing more dangerous than the widow of a man you killed,  _ someone said when you were young. It wasn’t to you, but to one of your brother’s, telling tales of battles.  _ I’ve lost more foolish men to women who had nothing left to lose than you’d ever expect to.  _

Maybe that was anger speaking, or the spirits of dread and revenge, but your aim was nearly perfect, and when you turned to stare ahead, every single one of your attackers was down. 

“Done,” you informed Steve. 

He didn’t say anything, just pulled the shield from behind his back and placed it before himself, protecting the two of you from the attack of a canon. 

Then, with two swift curves, you were in. 

“Jump,” he instructed. 

You had no shield, but Howard’s design of a couple of pieces of thick protection over your wrists and forearms were enough to dodge bullets coming in your direction. Men stormed you, and you used the confusion of some of them to bring their ends sooner. 

The explosion behind your back informed you the door of the base was down, and you knew what came now, and slowed down your attack, allowing the men to surround you while they did the same with Steve, although in a much smaller number on yourself. 

_ Let yourself be captured. _

_ "Komm schon, Fräulein, _ ” someone pulled your arm behind your back and you resisted.  _ “Mach es nicht noch schwerer als es sowieso schon ist..” _

(Come on, miss. Don’t make this harder than it’s already going to be.)

You held back your fighting instinct, allowing yourself to be dragged inside. The moment you walked through the door, you knew it. What you needed, what you looked for, it was here, closer than ever. 

“ _ Bringen alle Amis ihre Schlampe mit, damit sie nach dem Kampf was zum vögeln haben? _ ” someone snickered behind you. 

(Do all Americans bring their whores with them so they’ll have something to fuck after a fight?)

“Glaubt ihr, es gibt nur die eine, und die müssen sie sich teilen?”

(Do you think they all have one, or they have to share?)

Your face contorted in disgust at their words. You weren’t used to informal German, you were educated in a more formal version of the language. That didn’t mean, though, that you didn’t understand most of what they were saying. 

One of the soldiers from the back walked to stand in front of you, still masked and goggled. 

_ "Sie scheint nicht hässlich zu sein, die Kleine. Muss ja gut sein, wenn Captain America sie behält." _

(She doesn’t seem ugly, this one. Has to be good if Captain America keeps her.)

To that, Steve turned his head, recognising his alias, and you exchanged a look over the German soldier’s shoulder before the men holding him forced him to stare forward once again. 

The hands of the man in front of you moved to under your chin, and he removed your helmet, pulling it roughly and making your head jerk to the side. He threw it on the floor and used his free hand to pull your hair out of the tight bum you’d put it into, making your scalp ache and the locks to fall over your face, slightly curled from the hairdo. 

“ _ Schau dir die an. Nicht schlecht für eine Amerikanerin! _ ” he chuckled to his friends, then turned to you and tilted your chin up, and his voice came out full of his accent. “Pretty girl.”

(Look at her. Not bad for an American!)

You just continued to stare at him, and he laughed, suddenly grabbing your jaw and twisting your neck to the side. 

_ “Omega,”  _ he said after a long sniff. _ “Und der Captain ist bestimmt nicht ihr Alpha. Sie hat sich wohl auf einen Beta eingelassen.” _

(And Captain isn’t her Alpha. Probably got herself with a Beta.)

Someone whistled behind you and you bit down your anger once again, hearing their laughs.

“Du bist genauso schön wie ein echtes arisches Mädchen,” the man continued, his lips curling. “Könntest fast eins sein.”

(You’re as pretty as a good Aryan girl. Might even be one.) 

“Mal sehen wie viel Überredung es braucht bis sie ihre hübschen Beine für uns breit macht, eh, Jungs?” you felt one of them shaking your arm slightly while he laughed.

( Let's see how much it takes to get her to spread her pretty legs for us, eh, boys?)

The man in front of you moved his grip so it’d be tighter, and made you stare into his covered gaze. 

“ _ Während deiner nächsten Hitze wird uns deine Fotze von gutem Nutzen sein,  _ Pretty Omega _.” _

(We’ll make good use of your cunt during your next heat, Pretty Omega.)

That was enough to drag you over the edge. Mustering every feeling inside you, you spat on his masked face, staring at where it landed, right on his goggles. 

_ “Über meine jüdische Leiche!” _

(Over my dead Jewish body!)

With that, everyone fell onto silence and the man dropped his hand, releasing your jaw and cleaning the place where your saliva had spread, and walked out of your view just as a man who simply looked like a painted skeleton entered your presence, and he looked you up and down briefly. According to Zola, that was Schmidt.

“Now we know where to throw you when we’re done with the two of you,” he answered, his words oozing with a heavy accent. 

You felt the hands around your arms tightening up, but the man didn’t even spare you a second look before moving to stand facing Steve. 

“Arrogance may not be a uniquely American trait, but I must say, you do it better than anyone.”

You tried to keep it to yourself while you scanned the place around. It wasn’t more just a simple base. 

Your eyes darted right back to Steve when you heard the sound of Schmidt attacking him with punches and a kick. 

_ Wait.  _ You reminded yourself. 

And then, the windows by your side were broken by your team of friends, which gave you time and opportunity to get yourself free from the men holding you, and to attack them before running right after where Schmidt had started to run. 

The corridors were a mess, all identical and noisy, but something inside you told you the directions. Maybe you weren’t even following Schmidt, maybe you were just going after what you knew you should be going after. Schmidt was Steve’s fight, Steve’s opponent. Right now, you had your own mission. 

You climbed the stairs of the ship quickly and stopped on your tracks when the blue glowing cube reached your gaze. It was that. What you were looking for, what had been calling you your whole life and brought you here. 

The moment your fingertips touched it, your whole body lit up in a shiver as you’d never experienced before, and when your hand fully surrounded it and pulled it from its platform, a feeling of power as new as the shiver reached you. 

You felt like you were floating in water for a moment. By your side, the platform continued to glow as if the cube was still in itself, and closed itself alone, keeping the light in and giving the impression that it had been moved. You stepped away, and even though your centre of gravity felt like it shifted with each movement your body made, it was like the cube itself was bringing you down to wherever you needed to go. 

You walked through the wall of the ship and slowly - and gracefully - floated down until your feet were close to the ground, though it never touched it, and stopped when Schmidt came through the door. To your surprise, he acted like he couldn’t even see you, nor did the men when you continued to walk, all of them passing through you and your body like you were nothing more than a spirit. 

Your feet moved like you were climbing stairs, and you didn’t stop until you reached the highest of the mountains. It was leaving, becoming smaller and smaller. You couldn’t possibly reach it. 

Something pulled you from your middle, making you close your eyes and hold your breath, expecting some sort of pain or impact - you were holding something unimaginably powerful, those things never came without a consequence. When you opened your eyes, however, you were just… Somewhere. 

The plane approached you, and you entered it through its ceiling, standing in front of Schmidt, and his face fell when you felt yourself solidifying. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” you raised your hand slowly. “None of that.” 

A strange and strong energy came out of you, like blue fire surrounding everything that composed you, and a portal opened behind him, showing the depths of the universe, so far away and empty that you couldn’t see any planets or moons, or even objects. 

“You’ll have to pay now.”

Your fire surrounded him, but for him, it brought pain and not power. It consumed him and sucked him into the abyss. Just as fast as the portal opened, it closed itself, and you turned around to see Steve staring at you. 

“Take my hand,” you offered. “We have to leave. The ship will crash.”

He shook his head. 

“If we leave, this ship will destroy New York City,” he removed his helmet. “I can’t let that happen.”

You didn’t answer him at first. You couldn’t leave him alone, not now. So, you just nodded.

“Do it,” you decided. “And then we’ll go tog-”

But you had no time to finish your words. Energy sucked you in again and the ship was gone, and your body hit the ground painfully. 

“Doctor,” someone exclaimed, and you recognised Colonel Philips’ voice just a moment before he was above you. 

The cube was still in your hands, almost glued to your skin by how tensely you were holding onto it, cold like nothing had ever happened. 

“Where have you been?” he questioned. 

Someone sat behind you and you raised your eyes, loosely identifying Jim behind the blur your vision was becoming. 

“Fucking shit, you’re burning,” he hissed after simply touching you and instantly pulling away. “Colonel, we need someone to look her over, something is not right.”

You took his hand, and he flinched, but you didn’t care. 

“Give this to Howard Stark. Tell him no one else can touch it, and it needs to be protected until I get to him,” you instructed him. “Do you understand?”

He nodded, and you placed the cube over his palm, moaning in pain when your skin came out with it, and felt your head spinning. 

“I’ll do it,” he affirmed.

And with that, you lost conscience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	33. XXXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

Year -75 (1945)

You woke up slowly with the sound of some sort of monitoring machine by your side and stirred in your place, blinking at the strong white lights above you and groaning a bit. 

“Hey,” Abraam ran to your side. “Slow down.”

You complied in silence, feeling your throat dry and your whole body aching. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked, grimacing when your voice came out rasp and rough.

“Stark sent a plane for me and Dot,” he explained. “There’s a couple of new doctors in camp, don’t worry.”

You frowned, looking around and looking at your hand, finding it slightly elevated by a platform and wrapped in bandages. 

“What did that? What hurt your hand so bad?” he questioned, walking to you with a worried expression on his face and holding a glass of water. “The doctor who treated it said he could see your fatty tissue, they almost used a donor site, but I said you would be able to heal it alone. They said you had an extreme fever when I got here you had been under the shower because nothing else was working. They thought you were about to die in their hands.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, and he offered you the glass. 

“It was the Cube,” you leant your head forward, sipping with the straw. 

Abraam waited in silence for the rest of your answer, and put the glass away when you were done, sitting by your side on the bed and reaching for your empty hand, holding it gently. 

“Abraam, it spoke to me,” you affirmed. “This… Thing. It is related to me, it is related to what I am, what I’m supposed to be.”

He sighed deeply. 

“Stark said he’s keeping something safe for you. Is that it?”

You nodded. 

“Most likely, yes,” you breathed in deep. “How long have I been here?”

“Almost two days,” he answered. “We were all worried to death, but the crew said you were mostly okay, just… resting.”

Abraam took a deep breath.

“They are... Looking for Rogers. They said you two invaded the HYDRA base together.”

You closed your eyes in response. 

“I tried to wait for him,” you affirmed. “I really tried, but the Cube has a mind of its own. One second I was on the ship and in the next, I was in our base. I don’t know how that even happened.”

“We know,” you heard on the door, and moved your gaze to find Peggy standing there. “You were delirious at some points, started talking.”

You looked away, embarrassed, and she walked closer to you. 

“How do you feel?”

“Like I ran over by every single one of our tanks.”

She offered you a small smile. 

“That bad, huh?” she walked to you, and Abraam stepped away to give her space. 

“I’ll see how Dorothy is,” he stated. “Do you need anything? We were authorised into your hotel room.”

“Her clothes were burnt from inside out,” Peggy informed him and turned to you again. “You’ll need a new change. And toiletries.” 

He nodded and walked out, closing the door of your room to give you two privacy and you just tried to breathe calmly. 

“We were worried about you,” she affirmed. “The boys are all outside, they want to see how you are, but I wanted to give you a warning.”

You tried to move on the bed and at least cover yourself more with the sheets - that had bundled over your waist - and she stopped you. 

“Let me.”

She covered you up to your shoulders, though leaving both your arms free, and moved your hair in a less messy position. 

“I’ll call them in.”

It didn’t take much. When she opened the door, your whole team was waiting outside. Dum Dum was holding flowers and Gabe had a huge teddy bear in his hand, and both offered the objects to you as soon as they entered the room. Jim also had a ‘Get Well’ card.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. “I heard you gave the medic crew a run for their money.”

“We didn’t let Zola anywhere near you,” Dernier informed you quickly. “Someone suggested it, but Stark said to get your cousin, so we got him. He knew what to do when he got here,” he noted. “You sure need a big dosage of medicine for someone your size.”

You chuckled. 

“You could kill a horse with how many sedatives I need to be put down to sleep, that is for sure,” you laughed, but held your stomach when the pain caught you. “Or to help me with the pain.”

They just gave you soft looks, and you breathed it deep, eyeing your wrapped hand. 

“Does my hand look too bad?” you asked. “I didn’t get to see it.”

They all exchanged looks. 

“I saw your bone,” Jim affirmed, scratching the back of his neck. “When you gave me the Tesseract, your skin just came all out, I could see your bone and a lot of blood and all that stuff. But then it closed on itself, and the doctor said you wouldn’t need any skin transplanted or anything, so I guess it’s good.”

You eyed his wrist. The place where you had touched him was wrapped up in bandages. 

“Did you need any?” you whispered. 

“No,” he shook his head. “The thing was cold already and you only got me a second degree, this here is mostly for protection.”

You nodded. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he assured you. “It wasn’t your intention.”

You nodded and sighed, closing your eyes briefly. Truth was, you were still very tired and you weren’t lying when you told Peggy how much pain you were in. 

“Y/N,” Dum Dum called you, walking to the free side of your bed, away from the group. “We need to know what you remember. It’s important.”

You sighed. You knew you’d need to have this conversation at some point. 

“Well,” you swallowed down. “The moment I stepped into the base I knew there was something there waiting for me…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


	34. XXXIV

The war was over. Hitler had committed suicide and the Nazi party hadn’t recovered from the loss and surrendered not much longer after that, people imprisoned in concentration camps were being freed, fed, and helped. Abraam and Dot were doing their wedding preparations when you bundled up in Howard’s plane to fly back to New York. 

“We are good with that, you know?” Howard noted, making you look back at him and turning your eyes away from the sky. “Working together.”

The cube - the Tesseract - was laying at your feet inside a suitcase. Your friend was going to take it to a safe base when you landed, and it’d be closely watched and protected, so no one would be able to access it and make it into something dangerous again.

“I know,” you offered him a small smile.

“Gonna remember that in the future, I actually have some plans…” 

You arched an eyebrow at him. 

“I’ll let you know when it’s more solid,” he decided. “I know you’ll like it.”

You confirmed quietly and Abraam cleared his throat. 

“So,” he turned to you. “Dad and the Johnson-Koplowitz’s are organising a family dinner for all of us. To celebrate.”

Both Abraam and Dot were stepping on eggshells around you since they arrived in the base where you were kept under observation. They both knew about Bucky and his death - everyone knew at this point - and just didn’t know how you’d react. It pained you to know that you wouldn’t get this happiness: You wouldn’t have your husband with you any more, nor the relationship you had spent so long building and nurturing with a man who was so amazing that he managed to get your walls down after over a century. This was all gone.

While your nephew was planning to meet with his father, you had a different goal in mind before anything else. 

You had many plans with Bucky for when you got home. His family would move into one of your houses and you’d turn, and possibly expand, his house into a medical and community centre for people who couldn’t afford any sort of treatments, be it caring for them right there or financing their search for it outside. Both Abraam - who planned to specialise in cardiology - and Jakub, his father, a paediatrician had already signed up to be a part of it at least twice a week. With you planning to become an OBGYN, the centre would have at least some of the most important services so far and would only need to either fill in for most things, and any of you would be able to provide general services. You also wanted to provide different services, because you knew the war would take a big toll on the people. Education, therapy, and workshops for people who didn’t know or didn’t remember what it felt like to hold a normal job and not just be a soldier. 

Bucky didn’t know if he wanted to go to medical school, but he knew he wanted to be a part of it and give back to the community who helped raise him. The place would give people every possible kind of job and would look out for them. 

You didn’t know if he had told any of that to his family, and wondered if they were even still interested in continuing with it. 

Above all… They were your husband’s family, but you’d never met them. You didn’t know how they felt about you, or your marriage, or if they’d even welcome you in their lives now that he was gone. 

When you landed, finally, you sent your luggage back to your house - the one you’d set up to live with Bucky in months ago - and picked up a car before to reach a less fortunate side of Brooklyn. You knew what to expect, you’d seen a photo of the Barnes’ together in front of their house. Compared to some families, they weren’t the least fortunate, but they couldn’t brag either. 

You were antsy and jittery when you stood before the porch, unable to say anything or even move for a long time before taking all of your possible courage and walking up the small set of stairs, making the wood creek. 

You stood in front of the door, holding your purse tight and trying to find strength to bring your hand up and knock, but you didn’t have to. 

Winnifred Barnes shared her son’s bright piercing blue eyes and dark hair, though the latter was greying now. 

“Hello, how can I-” she looked up at you, and stopped right when her eyes met your face. 

You swallowed down dryly. 

“Good afternoon, ma’am,” you tried to keep yourself from stuttering. “I hope this is not a bad time and I don’t know if you recognise me, but I’m…”

Before you could continue, she interrupted you, stepping in close to you and wrapping her arms around you in the tightest hug you’d felt in a long, long time. 

You stood frozen for a moment, but was soon holding her as tightly as she was doing, and stubborn tears watered your eyes. Neither of you spoke for what felt like the longest eternity, until her voice touched your ears, trembly in a warm motherly whisper.

“You are home.”


	35. XXXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2, here we go!
> 
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)

Year -11 (2009)

“Okay, but hear me out,” your beta godson dropped his fork, momentarily abandoning his food to insist on the subject with you, leaning to whisper in your direction. “ _ Ciociu _ , you are possibly the oldest person on Earth! You’re turning 189!”

“First of all, I can hear it if you whisper without looking like you’re trying to lick or spit on my drink,” you reminded Tony, reaching for your glass and moving it out the way, where it almost touched him. “Second of all, age is just a number.”

He rolled his eyes and sat back down. 

“Not 189,” he affirmed. “Definitively not 189.”

You shook your head. Some alien civilisations lived way longer than shy of two centuries. To them, you were no more than a child. Carol had told you about some, but you were sure many more existed too. 

“Come on,  _ ciociu _ ,” he insisted. “I never remember you having a birthday party. Never.”

“That’s because the last time I celebrated anything was when I was 100,” you said simply.

“See?” he exclaimed. “You gotta celebrate this one!”

Finally, you sighed and took a sip of your wine, setting it aside. 

“You’ve already set it up with Pepper, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” he confirmed without an ounce of shame. “And invited everyone we know. Your assistant helped me send out invitations, even to your other assistants. I don’t know why do you need so many of them.”

You shook your head. 

“When you have so much to manage like me, you take every help you possibly can,” you pointed out. 

But truth be told, your godson didn’t know more of your life than he should, and you took all the possible precautions for that. You didn’t want him involved with the dangers that your life brought on yourself, he was just a civilian; a rich civilian, but a civilian nonetheless.

“When it is?” 

“Tomorrow night,” he declared. 

You rose your eyes to Tony with surprise, mouth ajar and eyes widened. How come he even knew you’d say yes?

“Tomorrow night?”

“Of course!” he exclaimed. “Your birthday is next Tuesday, why can’t we celebrate this Saturday night with people? And it’s not like your relatives can’t come, because it’s going to be after the sun is down, so there is no reason.”

You continued to stare at him, surprised, but Tony didn’t quite care. 

“I’ve already bought you a gown, my mansion is ready for it. Drinks, music, food… A full kosher table,” he added. “I got those people from the sushi place you like to do cater.”

To that, you frowned.

“They don’t do catering,” you pointed out. 

“They do if you pay them enough,” he shrugged. “I paid them a full month worth of… Everything.”

You continued to stare at him, even more surprised.

“Tony!”

“It’s your favourite sushi place,” he insisted. “I had to find a way, and I did.”

You relaxed, shaking your head. 

“You are… A great example of chaotic good.”

He laughed and reached for your hand, kissing the back of it with a smile. 

“Everything for my  _ ciocia. _ ”

* * *

You watched the group of recruits on ground level from above, crossing your arms unconsciously. 

You’ve done this for years now, taking a break from work never meant a true break, but you observing future agents and supervising things that weren’t  _ actually _ yours to supervise as head of the board and founder of SHIELD, but you did so nonetheless. 

“Ma’am,” Coulson stopped by your side. 

“Agent.”

“Your PA asked me to bring you this when I mentioned I was looking for you,” he offered you a tall foam cup. “She looks busy.”

“You tell me,” you sighed. “I’m half-way sure I need to hire someone to work for her.”

He chuckled and you took a sip of your drink. 

Tall coconut caramel decaf with one-pump vanilla, topped with sweet caramel drizzle, then whipped cream and a layer of salted caramel drizzle. So simple that you just wrote it down and schedules your order and paid extra so the barista would at least be compensated for the overly complicated order in your very neutral travelling cup.

“Black?” Coulson questioned. 

“And no sugar,” you stared forward. “But I’m sure you’re not here because of my coffee.”

To that, he pulled a file from under his arm. 

“New weapon models for individual use, ma’am,” he explained. “We have some prototypes but need approval for that.”

You smirked at him, realising his strategy, and opened the file. You ran your eyes over the pictures, pieces of information and specifics. They looked promising enough. 

“Assign those to Romanoff and Hill. If they can’t, I want two level 6 on it,” you instructed. “And I want the reports back before the 14th.”

He confirmed and you gave it back to him. 

“I take it as you are attending tomorrow’s celebration?” you questioned, moving your eyes right back to the future agents, raising your chin at the way their scents reached you and narrowed your eyes. 

“I was invited,” Coulson answered. “Ma’am, if I may ask.”

That made you turn to him and raise an eyebrow. 

“Yes, Phil?”

He blushed and cleared his throat. 

“How old…” he trailed off. 

You chuckled at his inability to finish the question. You’d known Coulson for some good decades now, but while he was a good  _ work _ friend, you were not close enough that he knew much about you. 

“Older than my looks,” you simply said. “And surely older than you.”

That last bit he knew. It was a clear dissonance, the way you looked compared to how you acted and talked, or simply walked. You couldn’t remember ever feeling young in your life. 

“Agent Coulson,” you called. “The recruits.”

“Yes, ma’am?” 

“Run a surprise drug test on them right now,” you instructed. “Urine and blood sample, you know what to screen for. Interrupt training, anyone who is opposed to doing it is out of the program.”

He confirmed with a nod. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he stepped back. “I take as you want a report in return?”

“I do, yes,” you confirmed. “Thank you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)
> 
> Check the family tree closer here: https://66.media.tumblr.com/bf4ac1c163bbee80630031d1a1bfb134/f278cb5f3f7ba6d0-07/s1280x1920/9e866ff125e9d1103a8c570ee82b4f0c6c33272d.png

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welldonebeca) and [Tumblr](welldonebeca.tumblr.com)


End file.
